Page 110 of Can't Help Falling

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

FINWENTTOpick up some groceries while Tyler went to pick up Kylie from her school. It was already almost 6:00 when the charter buses rolled down the street, finally back from their field trip. As he watched Kylie jump off the bus, chatting back over her shoulder to Anthony, he was glad that he got these few minutes alone with her. It had been strange to say goodbye to Fin, even just for an hour or two, after the intense togetherness they’d experienced for the last few days.

But now, watching Kylie’s red hair bob among her classmates as she searched the block for Tyler, he was grateful to be picking her up alone.

Because this wasn’t anything nearly as simple as a hierarchy. There was no comparing Kylie or Fin and their roles in his life. He hoped that Kylie would never ask him to. He knew that he would have to balance time between them. Time for Kylie. Time for Fin. Time for all three of them. Time for just the two of them.

He waved at Kylie—a small one so as not to embarrass her—and as he watched her make her way toward him, he realized that for the first time since he’d become her guardian, he wasn’t utterly terrified of messing up. He was certain that someday she’d be able to write an entire memoir on all the mistakes he’d made and was going to make, a whole library even. But he wasn’t scared of them. They were inevitable. Natural.

He thought of his journey with Fin, filled with mistakes on either side. But that was how they’d gotten here, to today, where she was headed to pick up groceries for the three of them. Where he was allowed to whisper in her ear before they fell asleep. Where they felt a true connection together. The mistakes were part of that connection.

“What’s that look on your face?” Kylie asked as she approached him. He reached for the extra overnight bag she had over her shoulder and she handed it off without a second thought.

“What look?”

“I dunno. You tell me,” she said as she eyed him skeptically. “You look kind of...dopey.”

Well, he’d been thinking of Fin so it wouldn’t surprise him in the least if he looked like the biggest dope in New York City. Part of his heart hadn’t stopped whirring like helicopter blades in seventy-two hours. If he didn’t concentrate on Kylie, he might lift off from the ground by his spinning tail, hearts in his pupils like a Looney Tunes character.

“Don’t I always look dopey?” he quipped. “How was the trip?”

Her curiosity over the look on his face immediately tempered as she shrugged. “I dunno. Good.”

They walked twenty more feet before Tyler realized that was really all she planned on saying about it. “Come on, you’ve gotta be kidding me. I’ve been waiting for two days to hear about this thing.” He bumped her with his shoulder. “Gimme the deets.”

She smiled, frowned and then glanced around them quickly. “There are no deets. And don’t say deets!”

He laughed. “At least tell me if you took Fin’s advice.” He also took a glance around to make sure that none of her classmates were in hearing distance as they jogged down the stairs toward the train. “Did you make at least one friend?”

She glared at him like she was attempting to turn him into a sewer rat with simply the power of her ire, her teeth gritting together. “Yes.”

“Great!” He modulated his glee immediately, knowing it wasn’t welcome ’round these parts. At least not when it came to rooting for her to make friends. Nothing was more annoying than that, he was certain, but still, he had a tough time wiping the silly smile off his face. He searched for a topic change. “Fin’s gonna come over for dinner. She’s picking up groceries right now.” He glanced at his phone. “She should be getting there about the same time as we are.”

“Mmm,” Kylie said listlessly, looking at her own phone. She obviously wasn’t listening to a thing he’d just said.

“Hello?” he said loudly, turning a few heads on the train and intending to embarrass her a little bit. “Anyone out there? Dear diary? Can you hear me?”

“Shh!” She shushed him with an elbow to his ribs. “I was listening before. Fin’s coming over for dinner. Let me just answer this text and then I’ll put my phone away.”

Oh. She was answering a text. He surreptitiously attempted to glance at her phone. Not spying exactly. He just wanted to know if she was texting with this Anthony kid. And if she was, he wanted to know if any pictures of any kind were being sent. He’d read the headlines. He knew what kinds of things kids were using the internet for. And the last thing he wanted was a googlable picture of Kylie—

Thank the good Lord. He sagged backward. She was in a group text with two people. One of whom was named Luna and the other was Aceda. Those were girl’s names. And she was in a group chat. Most likely nothing seedy would happen in a group chat. Right?

She slipped her phone in her pocket and narrowed her eyes at him. “Seriously, what’s wrong with you?”

“Other than the fact that I definitely didn’t put enough deodorant on this morning, I’m fine.” He was a sweaty wreck, but he’d make it to the other side of this subway ride.

They were quiet until they were walking the few blocks back to the house, aboveground, the streetlights already buzzed on, most of the town houses and storefronts they passed looking buttoned up for the night even though it was only 6:30. This was how it was in February. Come May, there’d be people on every other street corner chatting and playing music until ten p.m. at least. Every winter Brooklyn was a well-mannered seventy-five-year-old. Every summer, she was a teenager again, bucking curfew and wagging her tongue at the adults.

Speaking of teenagers, Tyler glanced down at the one who was walking next to him. “You’re not...like...sexting, are you?”

Kylie stopped altogether, turned on her heel and started speed walking in the other direction.

“Hey!” Tyler jogged after her. “Where are you going?”

“I’m taking a different route home. We are not having this conversation.”

He took her by the shoulder and turned her back around. “Come on. You know I have to ask, right?”

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