Page 73 of Just a Heartbeat Away

She heard. SHE HEARD.

That had to mean one thing. That could only mean one thing. Was he breathing? He commanded himself to breathe. It would be the geekiest move of all time if he passed out right now. Seb forced himself to write his name down on his invite.

“But he’s not my boyfriend anymore,” she said softly, her eyes looking everywhere but at him.

Seb felt like spiking the save-the-date in the end zone. Like tap dancing down the hallway of the school. Like tipping her back in her chair and kissing the hell out of her.

But then the look on her face at that softball game flashed through his eyes. The way she’d wiped tears with her wrist, looking so small and lonely.

He found he didn’t have to lie when he replied with, “I’m sorry, Via. Breakups are hell.”

“Yeah.” She nodded.

“How long ago?” he asked, sort of hating himself for fishing.

“Um, when I took that trip upstate last month? You remember, right after...you were sick.”

Right after he’d spilled his guts out to her. After she’d taken care of his sick ass. After she’d put Matty to bed and sat with Seb on the couch. Did the timing of it mean anything? Was it all coincidence?

He had no idea what to ask next. How to ask what he so desperately wanted to know.Was I in your heart when you left your boyfriend?“Was it messy?”

She nodded, something that looked like guilt in those brown eyes she still wouldn’t turn in his direction. “He was pretty blindsided. It took a while to convince him that I meant it.”

Seb tried to imagine what it would feel like to have Via DeRosa leave you. Suddenly, months of pent-up resentment toward this Evan kid just kind of dried up. He felt sympathy. Seb was sure she’d been sweet as pie during the breakup. And fuck if that wouldn’t have made it even worse.

“Damn.”

“Yeah. I’d never broken up with someone before,” she said, almost thoughtfully.

“Never? You’re twenty-eight years old. You must have had lots of boyfriends.”

She smiled a little. “I’ve had a few.”

Seb wanted to punch a wall, and then himself in the face for bringing up this line of conversation. He didn’t want to hear this shit.

“But they all broke up with me.”

“Not possible.” The words were out of his mouth before he could even consider not saying them. They were sharp and high resolution. The kind of words that said a million other words. He was practically telling herI wouldn’t break up with you.

She started at his tight tone, but otherwise didn’t indicate that he was being a total psycho. “No, seriously. Like clockwork. Bing, bang, boom. It was sort of weird to be the one ending it this time. But...” She shrugged. “It wasn’t fair to stay with him when—” Suddenly her eyes were on his, brown and clear and making the air crackle with static all around them. “When I wasn’t being honest with myself.”

What the fuck does that mean?

Principal Grim started the staff meeting and Sebastian swallowed down his growl of frustration. His mind was in about eight different places all at once, and he’d never in his life felt more aware of another person as he was of Via DeRosa. She crossed one leg over the other, and Seb held his breath. When she tapped her capped pen on the back of the hot pink invitation, Seb felt insane, like she was trying to tap out a message to him. And when she leaned forward to whisper something in Shelly’s ear, he caught that scent again. Almond and rosemary.

So many things hit him at once. He hadn’t realized quite how constrained he’d felt that she’d had a boyfriend. He’d convinced himself that it didn’t matter either way. But here he was, considering the fact that he could now flirt with her, guilt-free, and the idea was swelling up like a piece of ripening fruit.

She was single. She was available. She was free.

He held back a groan.

She was single and free. Which meant she was probably going to get on Tinder like everyone else her age. She was going to date and hook up and party. She was free, but that didn’t mean she was available to Seb and all the baggage that came with him.

She was in her twenties. Just like yesterday and just like tomorrow. She was single, and it changed so much.

But it didn’t change everything.

Fuck.

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