Page 92 of Just a Heartbeat Away

His sweet older friend blushed, took a healthy slug of champagne and daintily wiped her mouth off. “Sure!”

Seb was a big guy, but he’d always been light on his feet. And so, apparently, was Shelly. The two of them danced their way from one side of the dance floor to the other. He two-stepped and boogied with her through an upbeat song and then twirled and guided her through a slow song. He had Shelly’s arm looped through his as they strolled back toward their table. He thought maybe he’d take Grace for a spin and then, hopefully, spend the rest of his night with Via in his arms.

“Hold it right there!” Grace shouted as they walked up to the table. She had a chunky, retro Polaroid camera in one hand that apparently the guests were allowed to use. Seb and Shelly dutifully posed, and then Shelly rushed forward for the photo, shaking it.

“Now, you two,” Grace demanded, hauling Via up from her chair and launching her toward Seb.

Apparently, Grace had quite the arm because Via stumbled forward on her spiky heels, and Seb just had time to catch her. One of his hands gripped her elbow, and the other splayed across her waist. He pinned her against him to steady her.

“Smile!” Grace called and Seb was dimly aware of a camera flash. He was sharply aware of the warm woman simultaneously slipping and settling against him. Via looked up at him, straightening, and Seb had the strangest feeling that his life had just become an abstract painting. The light and lines blurred and pixelated around him; everything was fuzzy and bright at the same time. The world was made of strokes of concentrated color. Everything was a gift tonight. The music, the scent of flowers, the sheer, contagious joy of the brides. All the energy of it funneled and tornadoed around Seb and Via.

And then Grace shoved the Polaroid into Seb’s hand.

“It’s a beaut,” she crowed.

“Oh,” Via whispered, looking down at the picture that was just developing.

Seb stared at it as well, horror trickling through him like a drop of poison in an IV. He felt like the clothes on his back were slowly freezing, starting at his shoes and working all the way up to the collar of his shirt. He couldn’t believe what he was looking at. He felt sick. And so fucking angry at himself.

Realizing that his hand was still on Via’s hip, he slid away from her, taking the picture with him. He shoved it into the pocket of his slacks. He didn’t want her to look at it anymore.

“Seb?” she asked.

Both she and Grace were looking at him like he’d just broken out in hives. Maybe he had. He felt hot and scratchy. Either his clothes were shrinking, or he’d just made a complete and utter fool out of himself. Via was looking at him, confused as hell, and she was so gorgeous there in her green dress that he was almost tugged back into their cloud of yum. But the picture pulsed in his pocket, and he was reminded of reality.

A familiar buzzing ring had Seb jolting. He pulled his phone from his pocket. “Sorry, that’s Matty calling from Tyler’s phone.”

He flashed the phone toward the women and strode out of the hall. He took one back hallway and then another, striding up a set of back stairs that led toward the Botanical Garden gift shop. Everything was dark and quiet. Huge windows lined the hall, and the gardens were stark and spooky outside. There were no lights on in the hall, so Sebastian could just barely see his reflection in the glass.

Seb fell into a crouch and grabbed the back of his head for a second. He sighed and answered the phone. “Hey, buddy.”

“Hey, it’s Ty.”

“Everything all right?”

“Yeah, Matty’s just finishing up in the bath, and I wanted to see how the wedding was going before he got on the phone to say good night.”

“Great. It’s great.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line that let Seb know he wasn’t fooling anyone. “Then why do you sound like you’re about to go play in traffic? Did something happen with Via? I thought tonight was gonna be the night.”

Seb considered not answering. The Polaroid pulsed in his pocket again, and he pulled it out. “Things were good at the beginning. Like pretty clear that something was gonna happen, you know? We were all flirty and shit.” Seb sighed.

“Yeah? And then what?”

“And then my colleague took a fucking Polaroid picture of us.”

“Pervy.”

“Shut up,” Seb said, laughing despite himself. “They leave Polaroid cameras around for the guests so you can add your picture to the guestbook, I guess.”

“So what’s wrong with that?”

Seb looked at the picture in his hand. The sight of it made his stomach curl. He could see now that he’d been totally swept away since that happy hour last week. He’d been surfing a wave of adrenaline and desire for her. The only things that had existed were the ideas ofmoreandcloser. Reality had fallen by the wayside. But now he had evidential proof of reality in the form of a Polaroid and it was bitter as hell.

“I look old enough to be her father in this picture.” The truth fell out of him like a dead fish onto a dock. “I’ve never really seen us together before, side by side like that. But she looks all young and fresh. She’s laughing and leaning on me. And I look like Hugh fucking Hefner.”

For months, he’d been slowly circling around the reason the age difference bothered him so much. And here was the answer, in convenient photograph form. He looked at this picture and he saw his own age. How much further down the walk of life he was than she. He knew exactly how it felt to bury a spouse. He’d lived through that excruciating hell. How could he ever allow himself to dump that possibility on someone else? He knew he was majorly getting ahead of himself, but if things worked out between them, he was pretty much guaranteeing that she’d be the one to put him in the ground someday. How could he ever do that to her? Especially knowing what she’d been through with her parents. It was reprehensible. Inexcusable.

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