Page 27 of Just a Heartbeat Away

“Hey yourself, little dude.” Seb crawled halfway in to the tunnel. “What did I tell you about playing in these tunnels?”

“That it’s not safe. But you never said I might get stuck!”

Seb sighed, yanking Matty’s foot from his shoe and then the shoe from the crack in the tunnel. “I didn’t know you might get stuck.”

“Me neither!” Matty’s face oscillated between humor and embarrassment, with just a touch of panic thrown in. Nobody liked getting trapped in a play structure tunnel. Especially when you knew you weren’t supposed to be in there in the first place.

“All right.” Seb scooted out of the tunnel after Matty and crouched next to him, jamming his son’s foot back in his shoe. “We’ll talk about it later, okay?” Sebastian was very aware that Joy and Uncle Tyler were standing just behind him; he didn’t want to embarrass the kid.

Matty nodded solemnly, relief in every line of his blunt little face. He rose up, then knelt back down to talk right into Seb’s face, the way he used to do when he was a toddler. “I get it, Daddy. About the tunnels. I get it now.”

Seb lifted Matty down toward Joy and they chased each other over toward the jankity old seesaw. Yet another dangerous part of this playground. But, what were you gonna do? Not come to the playground with your kid on a Sunday afternoon?

“It’s crazy how well-adjusted your kid is.” Tyler shook his head, his hands in his pockets.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Seb’s hackles rose, in the way that they only ever did with Tyler.

“Put your guns away. I just meant that the kid has been through so much the last few years, and you’ve really done a good job keeping him on an even keel.”

Seb’s anger pinpricked away. “Yeah. Well. When you’re the only thing your kid’s got, you figure it out.”

“Don’t diminish it, dude,” Tyler said, his voice suddenly hard and his eyes sharp. “You stepped up to the fucking plate. And you did it because you’re a good person. And a good dad. Don’t act like just anybody could have done what you did, all right?”

It was with those words in Seb’s brain later that night that he took out his phone. Matty was scrubbed from head to toe, still pink from his bath, and swinging his feet from the barstool at the kitchen counter. He was leafing through a picture book and picking at the smallest bowl of ice cream known to man.

Seb clicked around until he found his most recent message from Valerie the dog walker.

Hey, Sebastian! Wanna meet up this week?

It was topped off with the kissing lips emoji, in case he didn’t understand that it would be strictly physical if and when they met up.

He was flattered. And part of him, the younger part of him, couldn’t flipping believe he was about to throw away a pipeline to some instant tail. But he looked up at his barefoot son clanking his spoon in his bowl and milking every second of the evening before bedtime.

Hi Valerie. Had a great time with you last week, and I like you a lot. But we want different things. Good luck with everything—Sebastian

He felt like a dinosaur signing a text with his name at the end, but come on, you couldn’t sever ties with someone through a text message and not even have the courtesy to sign your own name.

He sighed and turned the phone over on the counter. He swooped in on his son, ripping him up off the barstool and tossing him straight in the air.

“Gah! Dad! What the heck! I didn’t finish my book or my ice cream!” But he was giggling like a madman when Seb scraped his five o’clock shadow on the kid’s exposed belly.

“Well, grab your stuff then. You can finish it in bed. It’s past 8:30.” He held his son upside down so that Matty could grab the book and bowl of ice cream. Which he did with a blinding grin on his face.

Seb hauled them down the hall and straight into his son’s room, where he got to experience the acute joy of having his kid read a book to him. And he didn’t even think about the phone he’d left in the kitchen.

CHAPTER NINE

“HEY!” VIAALMOSTwinced at how chipper her voice sounded as Sebastian slid into the seat next to her at the staff meeting.Tone it down, Violetta.She sounded like a fourth grader. And she would know. She spent pretty much her entire day with fourth graders.

“Hey.” He winced as he stretched his legs out in front of him.

“You all right?” She frowned down at his legs. His very long legs. How had she never noticed how crazy long his legs were before?

“Yeah.” He paused and greeted Shelly and Grace, who were sitting in the seats in front of them. He passed around his usual gum, peeling his own slice and popping it into his mouth. He turned back to Via. “I’m still sore from the game on Saturday.”

“Really?” She furrowed her brow. “Did you not stretch or something?”

“Oh, I stretched. There’s just this delightful little thing called age. It starts to bite you in the ass around thirty-five and, you know what? I won’t spoil the surprise for you.”

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