Page 105 of Just a Heartbeat Away

Muriel lifted one shoulder. “A bit. I remember thinking she was good for Matty.”

“Yeah. She actually did this one thing that really helped me after Cora passed. Do you remember that checklist I used to keep up on the fridge?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah, she made that for me. And that was really helpful, in a logistical way. But the real thing she did for me was to kindly, gently, tell me that I was neglecting my son.”

Muriel made a sound that Seb would never be able to interpret if he lived a hundred years. She sounded outraged and in agreement at the same time.

“She was right.” Seb wiped his forearm against his eyes. “I was lost and spinning and a bad father. And she just firmly told me to do better. I clung to that for months. The idea that I could do better. And all I had to do was follow that little roadmap she gave me. And every day, I got a little bit better at it.”

“It simplifies it to say it was all because of her.”

“I know. It was a little thing that she did, in the long run. Compared to everyone else. Tyler moved back from Cali. Mary was over at the house every other day. You and Arthur have been Matty’s other parents. No question. And there’s no way I could thank you all for what you’ve done.”

“And you shouldn’t. We’re family.”

“Yeah. Well, Via wasn’t. And there was something about what she said and the way she said it, it just woke something up inside me. Something that wasn’t even awake before Cora died. She woke up this thing that had me wanting to try. No, not even wanting. Needing. I knew that I needed to try. And that there was no room to be scared. Or for disintegrating. All I could do was try to make things work for Matty.”

He stood and washed his hands at the sink. Muriel handed him a clean dishtowel.

“And you found your way back to her?”

He nodded. “She works at PS 128 now.” He paused. “I know she’s young. But I’ve gone on a few other dates and they...weren’t right. I just felt bad after them. I felt like I was better off alone than trying to make something like that work.”

Muriel turned away from Seb, and he was shocked when her shoulders wilted once and then rocked. She was crying.

“Muriel.” He put a hand on her shoulder. He was utterly aghast. God, had he told her too much? He hadn’t seen her cry since that horrible night in the hospital. She’d been waiting for Seb when he’d come out of the morgue. He’d identified Cora. And the two of them had utterly broken in two separate chairs. Unable to even look at one another.

“I’m sorry,” Muriel said, and Seb handed the dishtowel right back to her. She brushed tears from her face in a businesslike way. “I just got overwhelmed for a second. I was thinking about how Cora would feel if she knew you were dating. And at first it made me laugh and then I just...” She gestured at her teary eyes.

Seb teared up a little more, laughing through it. “She was very territorial. Even with someone she wasn’t all that jazzed about being married to.”

Muriel didn’t deny that he and her daughter hadn’t been the perfect match. And he was glad she didn’t. He could always count on her for her honesty. “Regardless. She wanted the best for Matty. Think about that, Sebastian. That was truly what she wanted. The best for Matty.”

“Of course.”

“Don’t you realize that she would have divorced you if she didn’t think you had it in you to be a good father?”

He whipped back, his shoulders contracting like a snail into its shell. The thought had never occurred to him before. “I—”

“A woman like Cora. So definite. So sure. Everything black and white and loud. She married you like that.” She snapped her fingers. “Don’t you think she would have left you in exactly the same manner if she hadn’t known you’d be good for Matty?”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that if this woman is right for you, then you owe it to Cora, to Matty, to make it work. Get out of your own way, Seb.”

It was the first time she’d ever shortened his name and it hit him almost as hard as her earlier proclamation had. “Muriel.”

“You are going to give that boy a good life. You had one woman who gave you a son, and now, apparently, you have another who’s going to help you raise him. Figure it out.”

With that, she was marching out of the kitchen and Seb was left behind, his mouth open like a fish.

VIASETHERdishes to dry in the rack and sighed. Friday evening had been on constant replay in her head the entire weekend. She’d thought she would toss and turn with Sebastian gone, heated and uncomfortable. But she’d fallen into a deep sleep when she’d gotten home and woken up starving. She was attempting to distract herself with work.

And even now, Sunday late afternoon, the weak sun rolling sideways in the sky, she had files spread out on the breakfast table in her kitchen.

She’d just eaten a light dinner and was going to settle down to some paperwork. She had work tomorrow, but it wasn’t a full day. Just professional development from twelve to four. It wasn’t so bad.

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