Page 11 of Ambush

She stepped out of the way to allow him to enter. “He wanted to apologize for our first meeting. In reality, he was afraid his bad behavior would get back to the sergeant.”

“Scumbag.” He stopped by Rosy. “How’s she doing?”

“Better. I should be able to take the wrap off in a day or two.”

“You just let her roam here?”

“She’s litter trained. Besides, she’s good company. Want coffee? I was about to make some.” She didn’t want to be alone after that encounter, but her spine stiffened at the realization she was giving him the wrong signals. “Sorry, that was out of line. Let’s maintain some professional distance.”

He shut the door behind him and crossed his arms over his chest. “Let’s get this out in the open, Paradise. I’m not the enemy here. I never was. Can we at least talk about what happened back then?”

“What good would it do?” she fired back.

He stepped past her and settled on the chair she’d just vacated, leaving the love seat for her. “I’m not leaving until we clear the air. Neither of us can work in this tension. You know it as well as I do.”

She wanted to throw him out, but he was much too large for her to handle. And maybe he was right. They’d never talked about what he’d done—there’d been no chance after CPS moved in.

She crossed the small space and dropped onto the love seat. Her hands shook, so she clenched them together in her lap and said nothing. If he wanted to talk, he could start the conversation.

“What do you think I should have done?” He watched her intently. “Waited until Mr. Adams raped you? My options were limited.”

She flinched at his bald statement. “I trusted you. You had to have known when you talked to the caseworker that they’d remove me.”

“I didn’t know they’d take you so far away! And I couldn’t stand by and watch what was happening. No one could.”

“I had it under control. I told him if he tried to enter my room again, I’d tell his wife. You should have trusted me to take care of myself. I don’t need anyone’s help. He wasn’t the first man to try something. Nor was he the last.”

He scratched his dark hair and it sprang back into its upright position. “No one is that strong, Paradise. When I was in Afghanistan, I was the one there giving aid. But even I needed help—a team. Allowing no one into your inner circle is a tough way to live. We all need other people. And God.”

His voice gentled, and she knew his mention of God wasn’t an accident. It had been a conflict during their teen romance too. She couldn’t trust a God who would take her parents in one fell swoop and leave her dependent on strangers. Her views hadn’t changed in all these years either. What kind of God did that? She didn’t want anything to do with a being like that.

When she didn’t reply, Blake leaned forward. “What would you have done if it had been me? I loved you. You know I did. I hoped your caseworker would listen to me. Mom would have taken you. I told the caseworker we would.”

Paradise’s eyes filled when he said he loved her. Past tense. And of course it was because it had all been so long ago for him. To her, his betrayal was still fresh. “You should have known better, Blake. We lived next door. Adams could have easily continued to have contact with me if I merely moved to the next house over.”

Realization reflected on his face. “I never thought about that. You still didn’t answer my question. What if you saw that same thing happening? Would you have ignored it and turned a blind eye?”

“I told you in confidence! Why do guys think they have to fix everything? Sometimes women need a shoulder to cry on. Wedon’t expect you to rush in and make things worse. Talking it out can show the way to fix things. And I knew what to do. I had it in hand, but you ruined everything.”

She saved the real blow for last because it would be the knockout. “Did you ever think that where I would be sent next would be worse, Blake? Itwasworse. They were a nice family but blind when it came to their son. They didn’t believe me when I told them about him, and h-he raped me.” She choked back her pain.

Blake’s expression turned grim, and he reached for her. She shook off his touch and ran to the door to hold it open for him. “Please go.”

“Paradise,” he whispered.

“Don’t say anything, Blake. Just go.” She didn’t look at him, and after a hesitation, he left. She shut the door and went to make coffee.

Chapter 6

The memory of Paradise’s revelation haunted Blake all the way back to the house. The noisy tussling of the boys on the living room floor was only a minor distraction from his self-recrimination. Why hadn’t he considered the consequences of what he’d done? But he was just a kid himself, and he’d had no power in the circumstances. Once Paradise was in the foster-care machine, they were all helpless.

The aroma of frying catfish wafted from the kitchen, and his mother called his name. He went that direction and found her flipping the fish he’d caught last month and had frozen. Her face was red from the heat.

He grabbed a knife out of the block. “I’ll do the salad. Smells like corn casserole in the oven too.”

“You have a great nose. Is Paradise okay? That was a scary thing to happen on her first day of work. I hope it doesn’t send her packing.”

“She’s doing okay with it. I’m not sure why she came. I mean, how easy can it be to return here when she hates me? I blew it, Mom. She landed in a worse place when she left here.” He toldher what Paradise had said. He’d failed the girl he loved just like he’d failed Kent. Would he ever be able to forgive himself for the wrongs he’d done?

---