Page 72 of Still the Sun

“Well.” I stand. Refuse to look at either of them and plant my fists on my hips. “Give it a good push anyway.”

Heartwood, bless him, pulls his concerned gaze from me and gives it a valiant effort. I direct him to try pushing against different corners of the wall, then pushing more up, more down, and so on. Thank the Serpent, Moseus gets bored and leaves, stepping into the lift and letting it suck him up toward the top of the tower.

My strength leaves me in one great breath. I drop to the floor.

Heartwood crouches with one hand on the door. “What happened? Why did you leave?”

“Where were you?” I press my palms to my eyes. “I came back here to find you, and—”

“I went to Emgarden. To find you.”

I drop my hands. Of course he did. And he had to wait for the mist. He probably took a roundabout way to stay off the road. We passed right by each other.

I search for words. “I’m sorry. I ... I had a disturbing dream, and I had to leave and document everything.”

Brow furrowed, Heartwood pushes off the wall and shifts closer to me. “Dream? About me?”

“No, about Moseus.” I pause. “You said I lost my memories at Machine Three, right? What happened, exactly?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t know. I wasn’t there. You ...” He pauses to swallow, to mask the emotion. He masks emotion about as well as I lie, though that last one seemed to fool Moseus. “You started screaming. I came as quickly as I could.”

I roll my lips together. “Tell me everything you remember.”

He frowns but situates himself more comfortably, leaning close. “I came up the ladder; you were backed into the machine, and Moseus was trying to calm you. Trying to explain where you were. You didn’t know. You remembered your name, your work in Emgarden, but not the tower, the machines, nor ... us.”

“He got there before you?”

“He was handing you tools as you worked on the machine’s core. I rushed to your side, trying to comprehend what was happening ... I admit, it took me longer than it should have to understand. I kept asking what was wrong, and why you didn’t know my name.” The softest flush crosses his nose. “I panicked. Got a little physical with you.”

“Physical?”

“I grabbed your arm. I didn’t hurt you,” he rushes to add. Swallows. “And you pulled that knife on me.” He gestures to my pocket. “Moseus stepped between us, managed to settle you. At your request, he took you back to Emgarden.”

“And you didn’t?”

He glances up at me through pale eyelashes. “I wanted to. Desperately. But you were so frightened. I’ve ... never seen you like that, Nophe. Not then, and not now. Moseus thought it best that he take you. And when he returned ... he withheld information about you on my behalf, not wanting to ... disappoint me.”

“Information,” I repeat, “of my so-called betrayal.”

He presses his lips together.

“I showed you everything I have, Heartwood—”

“You haven’t remembered everything yet, Nophe,” he counters, and the truth of it deflates me. “You don’t remember pulling the knife. You said we were strangers to you, when we called upon you again.”

“Heartwood.” Pushing myself onto my knees, I touch the side of his face. “You said you and Moseus ... your power has dwindled, being on Tampere. You do ... plant stuff. You’re still strong. Does Moseus ... have any special abilities?”

“He calms,” Heartwood explains. “He is a peacemaker.”

I frown. “Calming someone doesn’t feel like a godly gift.”

“I think we’ve established that your idea of gods is slightly amiss.”

Worrying my lip, I stand up, eyeing the lift, and pace a moment.

Heartwood follows. “Nophe—”

“Don’t tell him.” I’m whispering again, though the thick stone of these walls should mask anything I say. “Don’t tell him I remember, Heartwood. Or have you already?”

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