Page 91 of Enraged

“Your best friend’s fiancé on their wedding day in the church office! Between you and your mama, that desk has some miles on it!”

“Oh, so you’re goin’ low,” she pointed out.

“Cassie, YOU went low! The fuck! That was my best fuckin’ friend since I was a goddamn kid!”

Reign it in, Dak, reign it in…

“If you will just listen to me, I -,” she began.

“I do not care. I don’t care. Get out of my house. Now.” I stomped up the stairs. “If you are still here when I wake up, I’m callin’ the damn law!”

I slammed my bedroom door.

Why the fuck can’t people just do what they’re supposed to do! Don’t rail people that aren’t yours to rail. Don’t plug spaceheaters into anything besides the actual goddamn outlet. Don’t leave candles burnin’ while you go to fuckin’ sleep!

I dragged myself into the shower, the smell of stale smoke filling the air as the scalding water heated my bare skin.

This wasn’t the first time me and the guys had gotten to the scene a little too late. It wasn’t the first time we had pulled somebody out that was no longer with us. It wasn’t the first time and wouldn’t be the last, but it never got any easier.

This is when I need Lena’s goofy ass here to call me a dumb fuck or to whack me with a pillow.

Vowing to call her when I got out, I scrubbed myself a little faster. When I was sure I was clean and didn’t smell like the job, I switched off the water.

I dried off quickly before brushing my teeth, the last step before finally being ready for bed.

I’m sleepin’ naked today. Fuck clothes.

Grabbing my phone off the nightstand, I crawled into bed. I dialed her number from memory, my anxiety growing as I waited for her to answer. As I was getting ready to hang up, a sleepy voice came on the line.

“Hello?”

“Good mornin’, beautiful.”

I heard her yawn. “Good mornin’.”

“How’d you sleep?” I asked her.

“Not enough, but okay, I guess. I fell asleep waiting on y’all to go back in service.”

She was listening to the scanner.

“We were out there awhile.”

“I heard it was a rough call.” I could hear the sympathy in her voice.

“It was,” I admitted.

“I’m sorry.”

I sighed. “These days never get easier, ya know? They were gone already before we got there... There was nothin’ we could have done, but for some reason, none of us see it that way. This one was only about a mile and a half from headquarters over on Parrish Street. We all kept saying, if we had walked outside, we would have smelled the smoke and went sooner,” I rambled.

“You can’t think like that, Dakota. None of y’all can. Even if you had gone outside and smelled smoke, It’s December. People have fires in their fireplaces all over the city.” She suddenly sounded wide awake.

“I know you’re right,” I admitted. “It’s just hard to get past it when you have one job and you just… can’t do it.”

“Some things are just out of our control. If this last week has taught us anything, it’s that.”

She has a point.

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