Page 86 of Enraged

My mouth dropped open in horror.

“It was before the bank opened,” he went on, “I was still workin’ at the fire department – it was before the accident ?but she was foolin’ around with one of the guys that worked the day shift when I was on nights.”

Big Jake had been a firefighter when Dakota was little. An injury had taken him off the job and Clayton Community Bank was born.

I was at a loss for words. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

He rubbed his stubbly chin. “Not many do,” he confided. “I kept it under wraps because Dak was friends with Gentry’s son at school.”

This town is just full of shitty people.

“Waylon Gentry?”

He nodded. “Dakota and Jacob were good buddies. Played rec ball together, they were in the same class at school, and they did FFA together,” he spoke as if the nearly twenty-five-year-old memory pained him. “His mama was already horrible to him. Never there, ya know… so, I kept my mouth shut about it, so she wasn’t able to ruin something else.”

My heart went out to him. We were just two blind fools, sittin’ here, puttin’ our faith in the wrong people.

“I tell you that for one reason, Lee Lee,” he sat straight up in his chair. “If you are forced to forgive someone enough times, you will eventually start to hate them.”

What does that mean?

“What I mean is…,” he continued as if he were reading my mind. “Every time you forgive them, you lose a piece of yourself until you eventually become someone you don’t even recognize… and you will resent them for causing it.”

His words danced around in my mind.

“Forgive that man, Jolene, for your own sake… but do not forget. When someone shows you who they are – believe them.”

I took a long sip of water.

“Yes, sir.”

He went back to his computer. “Take all the time off you need, honey. Your job is here when you’re ready.”

“Thanks, Big Jake.”

I walked out of his office with more mental clarity than I’d had in in months.

Long before this happened.

Jace had done things that required my forgiveness long before now. He would be mean to me if I spoke up about something I wanted to do differently in our relationship, tear me down mentally by attacking my insecurities when we would fight, he would bring his mama into our arguments then stand by while she berated me… I had forgiven a lot of things that I hadn’t been okay with because I loved him.

After talking to Big Jake, I realized that with every single thing I overlooked that I wasn’t okay with, I gave up a small piece of myself.

That’s why I have no interest in forgiving him. I’ve given all I have to give.

I quickly walked back across the bank lobby, eager to get out to my car before I was stopped by someone else.

These damn holiday hours we do this time of year have this place entirely too busy for this time of day.

“Lena!” a familiar voice rang out.

Fuckkkk me.

At the teller counter, in all her overly made-up glory, was Jace’s mama.

Fuck, fuck FUCK!

She embraced me with fake sincerity. “Sweet Lena, how are you, honey?” she asked, her eyes filling with tears.

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