Page 111 of Enraged

That’s not the reaction you want when you tell someone that.

“Why do you think that?” She asked quietly.

“Before this happened, you were the first thought in my head when I woke up, the person I wanted to talk to all day, the person I wanted to make a bad day better, the last thought in my head before I fell asleep,” I rambled. “The day of the fire, when I woke up that mornin’, and I saw you hadn’t texted or called me, I thought it was because you were back with Jace. He had told me the day before that you had been at his house…”

She waited silently for me to continue.

“When I ran back in there after him, I was determined to find him because I didn’t want you to feel the pain of losin’ him. I’d have gone back in for him either way – that’s my brother – butthe thought of the chief having to tell you he didn’t make it… it kept me going. When I realized that all of it, no matter the risk, was worth it so long as you didn’t feel pain… I knew I loved you.”

I watched as tears fell in her lap.

Now I’m the one causing her pain.

I tilted her chin up to look her in the eye. “Tell me what you’re thinkin’, Lena.”

“I’m scared.”

Me, too.

“So am I,” I admitted.” But I know that this is different.”

“How?”

“Because I’m goin’ to love you either way.”

She looked confused.

“What do you mean?”

“If you choose to walk out of here right now and never speak to me again, I’m still goin’ to choose to love you. Even if it’s not the same for you – even if you aren’t in love with me – I’ll still choose this every day because just being able to love you is enough for me.”

That was a shit ton of information for her in ninety seconds.

She opened her mouth to speak but a knock at the door interrupted her.

“Come in,” I invited.

The door crept open and in walked Cassie, her face lighting up when she saw that I was awake.

“Ooh, I lied. Don’t come in. Go back out.”

Lena swatted at me. “Stop. She loves you, too, and she’s been worried to death.”

Too? Does that mean you love me?

Cassie stepped up to the foot of my bed.

“I just wanted to make sure that you are okay,” she told me, an obvious sadness weighing down her voice.

Lena tried to pull her hand out of mine, but I did nothing but tighten my grasp.

“I’m fine, Cass. In fact, I’m better than I’ve been in a long time. I was just tellin’ Lena that I’m in love with her.”

It was a toss-up of whose eyes grew wider – the woman I wanted or the one I’d never want again.

“How can that even be possible? We just broke up,” Cassie pointed out tearfully.

You were literally with someone while we were still together…

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