Page 31 of Enraged

I licked my lips proudly, savoring the taste he left behind.

After checking to see if I needed to add wood to the fire, I pulled the sheet up to my chin.

I can’t believe I just had Dakota in my mouth.

I wouldn’t say that I’ve always looked at him as a brother, but I’ve certainly never looked at him like this, either. We have all been friends for so many years that he was just a piece of the puzzle that outlined the last two decades of my life.

I was so in love with Jace that I couldn’t see anyone else.

The wind screamed at me from outside the bedroom window.

Leave it to the universe to send me a fuckin’ winter storm right when I feel like I’m on the brink of hell.

Tears burned in my eyes, and I did my best to blink them back. Failing miserably, the sniffles started, my body trembling slightly as drops of betrayal slid down my cheeks.

“I know it’s little to no consolation seeing as how your mind had taken you somewhere dark, but just so you know, I’m writing to the National Weather Service in Columbia to request that they name a tornado after you.”

Bro. What?

Confused, I turned to face him.

“The gawk gawk 8000 you just gave me. That’s the kinda shit that will have a man payin’ alimony.”

I cackled.

“I’m completely serious. I can just see the tornadic resemblance now. First, you suck and blow and then I lose my damn house.”

“Oh, my lawd!” I laughed so hard the sound reverberated off the walls. “I guess one of us should send Jace a thank you card – either me for the experience or you for the result.”

He giggled.

The room fell abruptly silent, and I could feel the tears start to threaten once again.

“Come here, Loo.” He pulled me into his arms, cradling me like the little spoon. “It’s gonna get worse before it gets easier, Sugar, but at least we can ping pong between emotionally fucked and emotionally numb together.”

I let my neck relax, my tear-stained cheek resting comfortably on his bicep. “Are you going to forgive her?”

I felt him tense behind me.

“Yes. Not because she deserves forgiveness but because I deserve peace.”

I nodded against his arm.

“I’m not stayin’ with her, though.”

I looked back at him over the top of my shoulder.

“If it had just been a one-time thing and she had only hurt me, I might have been able to…,” he trailed off. “This wasn’t a slip, though. They knowingly and willingly hurt both of us.”

A fresh round of tears cascaded down my cheeks.

“That took it from a slip to a character issue.” He spoke firmly.

A character issue…

After what seemed like forever, I gathered the courage to say what I had been thinking all day, but unable to admit out loud.

“She asked me this morning if I was sure.”