Page 84 of My Trojan Horse Majesty

“I’ll stay here,” I say. “I’ll never use my magic again.”

Izzy turns toward me slowly. “Why?”

“You don’t even have to see me,” I say. “I can follow you around quietly, or, you know. . .” I throw my hands up in the air. “I don’t know, but I can figure this out.”

“It’s not because I despise you.” Izzy presses a hand to my cheek. “It’s because Idon’tdespise you that I need to find out.”

“You should despise him,” Abby says. “Why don’t you?”

Izzy turns around. “You don’t know him—none of you do. This bond has allowed me to see things you can’t understand. I can relate to him in a way no one else ever has.” She glares at Aleksandr and at Katerina. “You all betrayed him as much and as often as he betrayed you, and shame on you for it.”

Abby shakes her head. “But, sweetheart, he was going to kill Mandy, and he was demanding that Gustav and Kristiana also die when?—”

“You don’t know what he would have done. You just don’t. He’s never killed someone who wasn’t dark—he’s only killed villains. He healed Mandy instead of hurting her. I don’t think he’d have been able to do any of those bad things, but even if he would have back then, he wouldn’t do them now. He’s changed in his time with me.” She squares her shoulders. “I’ve seen his face—Baba Yaga showed it to me. She told me that my job is to help guide him in a way no one else ever has. I’ve seen all the light in his soul, only bounded by dark on the edges from decisions he thought he had to make. I believe in him, and I know that no one cares what I believe. Thanks to Tim, no one trusts my judgment, but Ihaveto trust it. I have to, because that’s just who I am. I won’t hate myself for making a mistake, not anymore. Not when the stakes are so high and I know I’m right.”

“Let’s say we do believe you,” Abby says. “Let’s say you’re right about Leonid—it’s still too dangerous for you to try to break the bond.”

“Gabe’s bound to Gustav by nothing more than a magical twist tie,” Izzy says. “For all we know, if Leonid restores Gustav’s magic now, that connection might already be dissolved.”

I hadn’t even considered that. Could it have been that simple to sever their bond? If Lechuza only put it in place to prevent Gustav from using his magic, and I removed his ability to reach his magic. . .

“But before we look into all of that,” Izzy says, “Leonid and I are going to see whether we can break this bond between us. Then you won’t have to wonder whether I really love him. . .” She swallows.

“Love him?” Steve asks. “You barely know him. You metdaysago.”

“Is it time, then, that determines how much you care for someone?” Izzy asks, echoing my words. “Did you love my mother because you spent enough time with her? It’s like a tree growing slowly, your love for her? And if so, how much time would I need to convince you? A month? Two? Six? A year?”

Steve frowns.

“Or, was loving her a choice you made, over and over? Did you find her attractive from the start, and then you served her, and the more you helped her, the more you did for her, and the more choices you made to put her first, the more that love grew?”

Abigail’s frowning, too.

“Leonid wasn’t raised like I was. He didn’t have a happy home. He didn’t have parents who loved him—not even one.” Her eyes are flashing as she dares them all to argue.

I hate this. Why’s she telling all of them about my parents. . .unless. Is she telling them this. . .because shewantsto be with me? Is she trying to get them on our side?

“And these people right here, the ones you trust and admire?” Izzy rounds on Gustav and Katerina and the others. She jabs her finger at Katerina. “She used him. They all did, to some extent. He had lost everything, and they gained from his family losing power, and they didn’t care.”

“I hardly think,” Aleksandr says, “that his woes?—”

“Youdidn’t thinkabout it. And you didn’t care about him, even though he was like you.” Izzy shakes her head. “Ignoring bad things is just as bad as doing them, or at least it’s close.”

“But hetookwhat he wanted,” Kristiana says. “He always took it.”

“When no one will give you anything, what choice do you have?” Izzy asks. “In spite of not being given a loving home or model parents to follow, Leonid’s grown strong. He’s had his own, slightly off-center moral code that he’s stuck with for all this time.”

“Off-center is right,” Aleks mutters.

“But now he has me by his side to guide him,” Izzy says, but she’s not talking to the Russians anymore. She’s talking to her mom. “I know you hated Tim, and you were right about that. I wasn’t sure about myself or much of anything, especially with him beside me, telling me I was small and that he was great. In fact, I think I knew you were right about him, so I stayed away from you.”

“That hurt us more than anything,” Abby says.

“I don’t want to live or love like that anymore,” Izzy says. “But if we don’t break this bond, I’ll have to go to Russia with Leonid forever, just to stay alive. I’ll have to leave all of you again. I want to break this connection so I can be one thousand percent sure that my judgment and my decisions are based on whatIwant. That they’re based on whatIknow. So you think it’s a risk. You all do.” Only, she’s looking at me now.

“I think it’s a risk we shouldn’t take,” I say. Because if something happens to her. . . She’s right that I need her to guide me. I’m not sure what I’ll do without her.

“You think we shouldn’t do this, but that’s just exactly why we have to do it. I need to find out whether I really love you, or whether I’m just bonded to you.” Izzy shrugs. “I think I love you, but I need toknow.” She points at her mother. “They need me to know beyond a doubt.”

---