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"I told youno."

"I begged you tostop!"

"Youforcedyourself inside my body without my permission that night and you took away mychoice!"

"I'm pregnant. And if, by some misfortunate chance, this baby is yours, I want you to know that you will never get a chance to do to him what you've done to yourself…what you've done tome."

Her words continued to haunt me, going around and around in my hazed mind like a broken record.

Ididn’tremember.

I couldn’t fuckingremember.

But I heard the sincerity in her voice – the truth in her words.

I did it.

All of it.

I had become the one person I hated more than anyone else on this planet.

I had become a monster.

Staggering into the kitchen, I tried to catch my breath, tried to breathe through the pain, through the agonizing realization of what I had done.

What I had become.

I wasn’t me anymore.

I was a fucking creature.

The pain in her eyes?

I put that there.

My fucking hands around her neck?

I did that.

Me.

Shaking violently, I grabbed the closest drawer and pulled it open with such force that it came away from its hinges, crashing to the floor with a thud. Knives, forks and spoons scattered everywhere.

Dropping to my knees, I reached for the sharpest knife I could see.

With tears dripping down my cheeks, I took the knife in my hand, clenched my eyes shut, and whispered, "God forgive me," before slashing downwards in one quick movement.

The blood began to drain from my body, and I was grateful.

Soon, it would all be over.

All the pain.

All the suffering.

Switching the knife to my other hand, I slashed downwards on my right wrist, then slumped forward, waiting for death to take me, praying to the Lord to forgive my sins.

Just before I lost consciousness, I heard a familiar voice close by.

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