Tried to show me he loved me.
Why was I shaking so violently?
Why was I feeling so robbed?
Because he raped you,my common sense urged,you said no, and he didn’t stop.
But he wouldn’t.
He would neverrapeme.
And I wasn’t hurt.
There were no bruises.
No pain.
This was…. I didn’t know.
He was drinking heavily.
It was the alcohol.
He wasn’t thinking straight.
He wouldneverbehave like this sober.
He would never take my choices away from me.
I must have laid there for hours until the life floated back into my frozen limbs.
Finally, when I had regained control of my own body, I scrambled out of the bed and straight across the hallway to the bathroom. Switching on the shower, I adjusted the settings to the maximum level of heat, before climbing inside.
The water washed over my body, scalding my skin to the point of blistering pain, and I was glad.
Sinking to the shower floor, I wrapped my arms around my knees, bowed my head, and cried.
Too ashamed to think.
Too afraid to feel.
Too broken to breathe.
****
Chapter Twenty-Two
Jordan
I wanted to die.
I needed to not be here anymore.
I needed to not feel the horrendous fucking pain in my heart
My mind was attacking me.
Hope's face was crushing me.