Page 61 of Altered

"I love you," he whispered, ripping at the hem of my pajama bottoms. "I love you so much."

I couldn’t move.

I couldn’t feel a thing.

I was paralyzed.

Floating out of my body.

"No," I continued to whisper, shaking my head. "Please stop…"

"We can fix this, Keychain," he soothed, pulling my panties down my legs. "I can make this better again."

"Stop," I begged, but my voice betrayed me. I tried again, "Jordan, please don’t," but all that came out was a low, strangled moan as he pushed himself inside my body.

My heart was slowly freezing in my chest.

Each breath that blew from my lips was frostier than the last.

I was dying inside.

His touch was loving and gentle, and I wanted none of it.

My skin crawled with deceit and shame.

But I didn’t stop him.

I justlaidthere.

He wasn’t hurting me.

He wasn’t.

But I needed him to stop.

"Please," I whimpered. "Please don’t do this…"

"I love you," was all he continued to say. "Love me back. Please, just love me back."

I do,I tried to say,but I don’t want this.

Nothing came out.

Trapped in my own skin, and burning with self-loathing, I bit down hard on my lip, and tried to make sense of what was happening to me.

Why was this happening?

Why wasn’t he stopping?

Couldn’t he hear me?

The feel of his bare flesh, the weight of his body, as he pressed heavily down on me, screameddanger!

And still, I remained motionless, my body numb to his frenzied onslaught of affection.

"I won't let him ruin us," he choked out, as he thrust inside my body over and over. "I won't let Paul break me." His soft breaths and grunts quickened. "Tell me you love me, Hope." His movements grew faster and deeper. "Please, tell me you love me."

Shaking violently, I turned my head to one side, clenched my eyes shut, and whispered, "I love you," as the tears spilling down my cheeks drenched the pillow.

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