Page 157 of Altered

I was divorced.

It brought no emotion out of me.

Just closure.

It was finallyover.

"I wanted to come see you after it happened," Jordan told me, tone quiet. "But I didn’t want to make it worse for you."

Again, I nodded.

He was right.

Seeing him would have made it worse.

"I'm sorry, Hope," he added. "For what happened to him."

"Yeah," I whispered, keeping my eyes trained on my mug. "You and me both."

Silence enveloped us then, tense and uncomfortable.

"How is Ryder?" I finally broke it by asking about his secret son. "Is he doing okay?"

The last time I had laid eyes on that little boy was the night Noah burst through the front door of South Peak Road, covered in blood, and carrying him in his arms.

I found out since that night that Ryder was in fact Jordan's son.

But I felt no emotion because of it.

If anything, I was glad that little boy had one living parent.

"My parents took care of him while I was in Mountain View," Jordan explained. He reached up and rubbed his jaw. "I want you to know that I didn’t know Ryder was my son before she died."

"It doesn’t matter to me."

"I still need you to know it." He ran a hand through his tightly cut curls and sighed. "I broke off the wagon a couple of years ago. Never told anyone. Went on a three-week bender. When I came around, broke and covered in my own vomit, I went straight to a meeting. I stopped myself before I slipped too far."

"It happened then?"

He nodded. "I have no memory of it."

"She loved you," I stated.

"I know," he whispered. "She left me a letter…explaining everything."

"How very Camryn Frey of her," I heard myself say.

Jordan cracked a small smile at my comment.

"What I did to you," he said, finally addressing the elephant in the room. 'The choices I made? I put you through hell. And for that, I'm going to be sorry for the rest of my life."

"It's okay," I told him, and I meant it. "I forgave you a long time ago."

"No, Hope." He shook his head. "It's not okay. If I could fix this for you? Bring him back? I would."

"What's your plan going forward?" I changed the subject by asking. I didn’t want to drudge up the past, and I wasn’t going to talk to Jordan about my feelings. "Are you planning on staying with your father?"

"Actually, we're leaving for Idaho this evening," he replied. "Dad and I are going to take Ryder to meet his extended family." Shrugging, he added, "We're going to stay for a while... family time."

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