Page 63 of Altered

Tried to show me he loved me.

Why was I shaking so violently?

Why was I feeling so robbed?

Because he raped you,my common sense urged,you said no, and he didn’t stop.

But he wouldn’t.

He would neverrapeme.

And I wasn’t hurt.

There were no bruises.

No pain.

This was…. I didn’t know.

He was drinking heavily.

It was the alcohol.

He wasn’t thinking straight.

He wouldneverbehave like this sober.

He would never take my choices away from me.

I must have laid there for hours until the life floated back into my frozen limbs.

Finally, when I had regained control of my own body, I scrambled out of the bed and straight across the hallway to the bathroom. Switching on the shower, I adjusted the settings to the maximum level of heat, before climbing inside.

The water washed over my body, scalding my skin to the point of blistering pain, and I was glad.

Sinking to the shower floor, I wrapped my arms around my knees, bowed my head, and cried.

Too ashamed to think.

Too afraid to feel.

Too broken to breathe.

****

Chapter Twenty-Two

Jordan

I wanted to die.

I needed to not be here anymore.

I needed to not feel the horrendous fucking pain in my heart

My mind was attacking me.

Hope's face was crushing me.