Page 51 of Altered

"Don’t say that," he choked out.

"It's the truth," I whispered, pleading with the man who housed the boy I knew would never do this to me. "Let mego."

"I can't," he whispered numbly. "If you leave, I have nothing."

"Jordan, staying here isn’t doing either of us any good… God, you can't even stand to look at me."

"I'm mad at you. I hate what you've done to us, to me. I'm in pain. I'm fucking furious with you, but that doesn’t mean I've stoppedlovingyou." He was trembling all over as he said, "Have you? Have you honestly stopped loving me?"

"Of course I still love you." Tears poured down my face, my admission the hardest one I'd ever told. "Just not in the way a wife is supposed to love her husband." I shook my head and choked out a sob. "Hurting you was the last thing I ever wanted to do. But If I stay," I strangled out, "if youforceme to stay, then I'll end up hating you."

"Then you can hate me for the rest of your long, safe life," he shot back wearily. "At least I'll know I did everything I could to protect you from a short life with him."

"Jordan, I know you're hurting," I cried as a raw, guttural sob tore through me. "I know I've done that to you, but please, think about this.Please.I am begging you not to make me do this –"

"Walk out that door and send him away," Jordan ordered, standing up. "Make it real and make damn sure he believes you, because if I ever catch you near him again… if Ieversee you with that murdering bastard again, I swear to god, I'll lay it all out there, Hope. I'll have him locked back up in a cage so fast you'll –"

"Okay!" I screamed, covering my ears with my hands. "You win."

"I win?" he repeated, tone laced with pain. "I never win, Hope. Never."

With that, he turned around and walked out of the room.

The moment the bedroom door closed behind him, I crumbled to a heap on the floor.

Fighting my feelings had become the norm for me.

Lying about everything in my life was perfectly acceptable now.

I was disgusting.

I knew it.

What I knew I had to do?

It was so cruel.

So fucking nasty.

But watching Hunter being taken away from me was the one thing I couldn’t do.

He was going to end up hating me.

They all would in the end.

And I had no one but myself to blame.

For all of it.

****

Chapter Seventeen

Lucky

I knew something was wrong before she came outside.

I had a horrible fucking feeling in the pit of my stomach and a keen ability to sense trouble.

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