Page 47 of Altered

I felt completely detached from everything and everyone around me.

"Jordan," Hope whispered, closing my bedroom door behind her. "I am sosorry."

"How long?" I asked flatly, keeping my back to her.

I couldn’t look at her right now.

I was in too much pain.

"Jord –"

"How fucking long, Hope?" I roared, clenching my fists. "How long!"

"We didn’t have se…I didn’t act on…Nothing physical happened until my birthday," she finally answered, voice small and quivering. "I swear I was going to tell you today. I came here to talk to you about it."

Pain.

Pain.

Fucking pain.

"And emotionally?" I demanded, feeling my body heat up rapidly.

"Months," she whispered. "More."

"More?"

"I didn’t plan any of this. It just sort of… happened."

"You just sort of fell into his bed?" I snarled. "You just sort of had sex with him?"

"Please don’t…"

"No, I think I deserve to have my say on this."

"What do you want me to say?" she whispered.

"I want you to explain yourself, Hope."

"I don’t have an explanation," she choked out. "It's all true."

"Why aren’t you trying to save this?"

"Because I don’t want to… save this, that is."

"Are you leaving me?" I forced myself to ask, though her answer was the thing I dreaded most.

"Jordan," she sobbed. "I never meant to hurt you."

Swinging around to face her, I repeated, "Are you leaving me for him?" My whole body was shaking. A million different emotions were crashing through me, but the one I clung to was the familiar one. Anger. "It's a simple question, Hope," I spat. "Yes or no."

"Yes," she squeezed out, delivering the final blow to my heart.

Feeling like my windpipe was crushing, I continued to force the truth out of my mouth. She needed to hear it. She needed to know how pivotal she was to my existence. "I need you in my life, Hope."

"Jord…" her voice broke off as she shook her head. "I'm sorry."

"Don’t leave me," I whispered as panic clawed at my gut. The thought of losing her to him caused the desperation inside of me to peak. "I'll do better… Please, don’t give up on me."

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