Page 66 of Keeping 13

Claire rolled her eyes again. “It’s an empty threat, she would never lock me out, butheneeds to take me home,” she continued, wisely refraining from going back and forth with Gibsie. “And I was wondering if you wanted to sleep over.”

“Sleep over?” I squeezed out.

“Yeah.” Claire nodded. “I mean, it’s totally fine if you’d prefer to go home or whatever.” She scrunched her nose up at that, making it very clear that she thought me going home was anything butfine. “But I can get my mam to call your mam if you’d rather stay with me?”

“I won’t be allowed,” I admitted with a sigh. Going home was the very last thing I wanted to do right now, but I couldn’t exactlynoteither. “They’ll hit the roof if I don’t go back.” I thought about all the trouble we were going through with the authorities, and while nobody had said I couldn’t spend the night at a friend’s house, I knew it wouldn’t go down well with Mam. No, because she would spend the whole night wide awake, stewing in her own panicked paranoia until I returned. “It’s probably easier for everyone if I just go home.”

“With all due respect, Shan, fuck them.”

My eyes widened. It was beyond rare to hear Claire curse andneverabout parents.

“Fuck. Them,” she added with a meaningful stare.

“Yes! Fuck them,” Gibsie cheered. “You tell her, babe.”

“Shush, Gerard,” Claire said before turning her attention back to me. “You are sixteen years old,weare on our last week of Easter break from school, andyoushould be having normal teenage-girl experiences like staying over at your best friend’s house. Instead, you’ve spent the first week of break lying in a hospital and dealing with more crap than anyone our age should have to. So, you do you, Shan. If you want to stay with me, then dammit, you stay with me.”

“Darren will get upset.” I didn’t agree with a lot of what he said, and I wasn’t pleased that he felt he could order me about, but I knew Darren’s heart was in the right place. And I didn’t want to hurt him. I didn’t want to hurt anyone. That was the problem.

“Darren will get over it,” Claire shot back, rolling her eyes. “He’s your brother, not your keeper. You had one of those and look where it got you. Look what he did to you!” I grimaced and Claire cringed. “Okay,” she soothed. “Maybe I worded that wrong and was a tad insensitive given the circumstances, but you know what I mean. I’m saying this because I care about you, because I love you, Shan, and I’m done with watching people push you around. And, quite frankly, you should be done, too. Stop worrying about everyone else and think about yourself for a change.Liveyour life.”

She was right, but it was hard to break the habit of a lifetime. Especially when the consequences had always resulted in pain. I was programmed to do as I was told. It was a basic survival skill that I had honed to perfection.

It was what had kept me alive up to this point.

“What about Joey?” I asked, glancing nervously at the staircase behind me. Excitement mixed with a huge dollop of anxiety rose up inside of me, the prospect of not going home tonight growing more tempting by the second. “He’s asleep and I don’t think I should leave him—”

“He can stay here,” Johnny announced, joining us in the hall. “You both can.” His blue eyes locked on mine. “If you want?”

“Whoa there, stallion,” Claire said, waving a hand in the air. “Steady up. I said she needed normal teenage experiences, but don’t go jumping the gun here.”

Gibsie snickered. “Boom.”

“I’m not jumping the bleeding gun,” Johnny shot back, tone defensive. “My folks are in Dublin, and I have an empty house. Her brother’s already here. She’s already here.” His cheeks turned a deep shade of pink as he shrugged. “I was offering the obvious solution.”

“Solution.” Claire tsked. “Uh-huh. Yeah, if that’s what you’re calling it.”

“I was,” Johnny replied with a frown.

“Yeah,” Claire scoffed. “You werejumping the gun.”

“No, I bleeding wasn’t.” Johnny looked to me for help. “I swear, Iwasn’t.”

“I believe you,” I offered.

“Sure,” Claire drawled. “Keep telling yourself that.”

“Why don’t we all stay here?” Gibsie piped up. “Call it a solution, or a compromise, or a slumber party, or whatever the hell ye want. We can even order a pizza. Just stop addling my brain with all the back and forth.”

“I can’t,” Claire said with a heavy sigh. “Not since Mam found out that you—” She snapped her mouth shut. Her face turned a deep shade of red and she gave Gibsie a look that said “And you know why”before hurrying on. “I just can’t.”

I was surprised to see that Gibsie actually blushed, too.

“Well, well, well,” Johnny mused, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Looks like someone else”—he paused to make air quotes—“jumped the gun.”

“I most certainly did not,” Claire huffed, folding her arms across her chest. “The only thing I jump, Johnny Kavanagh, is a skipping rope.”

“Uh-huh.” Johnny arched a brow and mimicked her earlier words back to her. “You keep telling yourself that.”

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