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“My dad,” I choked out. “He’s in the house, Johnny.”

“Can you get out?” he demanded.

“No.” I shook my head and bit back a sob. “He’s in the kitchen. I can’t go back down there.”

“I’m on my way,” he replied without hesitation. “I’m leaving right now.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, sinking back down on my bed.

“Don’t say sorry,” he told me. “Are you safe? Are you in your room?”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “My door’s locked.”

“I’m in my car now, Shan,” he said. “I’ll be as fast as I can.”

“They’re not shouting,” I choked out. “Why aren’t they shouting?”

“I don’t know, baby,” he growled. “But I’m coming.”

“Something’s wrong,” I bit out. “He’sdifferenttonight. I don’t know what’s happening, Johnny, but something’s very wrong. I can feel it in my bones.”

“I’m going to get you out of there,” he vowed. “I promise. I’m going to take you out of that fucking hole and you’re never going back.”

“Johnny, I’m really scared.”

“I know,” he coaxed. “I know, baby, but I’m coming.” He sighed heavily. “Shannon, I love you.”

“I love you, too, Johnny,” I whispered, ending the call. I knew it was selfish to call him in the middle of the night and drag him from his bed, but I honestly couldn’t take another second of this. I felt like I was close to the edge of something that I wasn’t sure I could come back from.

I was afraid of dying in this house.

I held my breath, not daring to breathe too loudly, listening to the deathly calm sound of my father’s voice.

Why wasn’t he shouting?

Why wasn’tsheshouting?

Oh god, I couldn’t do this anymore.

I couldn’t be in this house.

I needed anout.

I counted down the thirty-three minutes I knew it took to get from his house to mine, and when he didn’t arrive at the projected time, the panic inside of me flourished into a monster-sized knot of fear, gripping at my lungs and making it hard to breathe.

Restless, I ran my hands through my hair at least a dozen times before giving up and fixing it into a braid down my right shoulder. Footsteps on the staircase filled my ears and I flinched.

Hurry up.

Please hurry up.

Slipping on my runners, I leaned against my bedroom window with bated breath and stared out onto the street. The more time that passed, and the louder the noise downstairs grew, the more of a paranoid wreck I became. By the time the familiar headlights pulled onto the street, my breathing was audibly uneven.

A knock sounded on the other side of door and my body instinctively seized with dread. “Are you in bed, Shannon?” my father’s voice called out from the other side of the door.

My eyes were wild and panicked as I glanced from my door to the window. “Yes,” I managed to strangle out, though it was hard to breathe from the panic consuming me.

“Good girl,” he called back and the sound of something spilling on the floor outside my door filled my ears. “Go to sleep now, Shannon.” The stench of alcohol wafted under my bedroom door and terror clawed at my chest. “Your brothers are all sleeping, too,” he added. “Just close your eyes and it’ll all be better in the morning.”

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