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Mam slapped him again, harder this time, so hard in fact that Joey’s head turned sideways from the contact.

“Mam!” Darren choked out. “What are youdoing? Don’t slap him.”

I froze, barely breathing, waiting in fearful anticipation.

Walk away, Joe,I willed him in my mind.Just walk away.

“AndI’mthe one turning into him?” Joey asked in a deathly quiet tone of voice. “I’m not living like this anymore.” Shaking his head, he stormed out of the kitchen, taking the staircase three steps at a time. “I’m done!”

“Joey, stop…wait—wait!” Scrambling after him, I chased after him only to pause in the doorway of his bedroom when I saw him throwing clothes into a gear bag. “What are you doing?”

“I can’t stay here” was all he replied, his voice barely more than a broken whisper as he pulled out drawers and grabbed random items of clothing from them. Tears were dripping down his cheeks as he filled the bag. “I’m sorry.” Clenching his eyes shut, he shuddered and continued to pack. “I’m going to explode if I stay in this house.”

“You mean for the night?” I croaked out, shaking. “You’ll go to Aoife’s and come back tomorrow, right?”

He didn’t answer me.

“Joey, please—”

“I’msorry,” he choked out, tossing a few pairs of socks on top of the bag before zipping it closed. “I’ve tried, but Ican’tdo this!”

“Joey, please!” Desperate to stop him, I grabbed his sleeve and pulled him to a stop. “What about me?”

“What aboutme?” he roared back in my face, green eyes filled with tears. A huge sob tore through him and his voice cracked. “What aboutme, Shannon?” Tossing his bag over his shoulder, he sniffled and wiped his eyes roughly with the back of his hand before shoving past me. “What aboutme?”

“I love you!” I cried hoarsely. “I do.I love you so much, Joe.” Tears clouded my vision and I roughly batted them away. “Icareabout you. You’re important tome. We can figure this out,” I sobbed, knotting my hand in his hoodie and dragging him back to me. “We can get through this together. You don’t need to do—”

“Listen.” Inhaling a steadying breath, he clenched his eyes shut and I watched as tears fell from his lashes. “I need you to take care ofyourself, okay? I need you to do that for me.” Clutching the back of my head, he stepped forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Don’t depend on her or Darren or anyone else, because in the end the world will let you down.Theywill all let you down.”

“And you?” I choked out, tears flowing freely down my cheeks now. “Does that include you?”

“Especially me,” he choked out before brushing past me and moving for the stairs.

“Where’s he going?” Tadhg’s voice filled my ears, and I swung around to see him and Ollie standing in their bedroom doorway. “Is he leaving us?”

“Forever?” Ollie whispered, eyes shining with tears. “But he can’t go.”

Wiping my eyes, I ran for the staircase, desperate to stop my brother from leaving. “Joey, don’t go!”

“Joey, think about this,” Darren was saying when I reached the bottom step. He had his back to the front door, blocking Joey’s path. “Don’t rush out. Just sleep on it, and we can talk about it in the morning when you have a clear head.”

“I can’t do this, Darren,” Joey choked out. “Get out of the way.”

“Joey, no—talk to me.”

“Get out of my way, Darren,” Joey repeated, shaking all over. “Now.”

Devastated, I looked around aimlessly and spotted Mam in the kitchen. She was sitting on her chair with a cigarette in hand. “Do something,” I begged from the hallway. “Mam, say something.Please. Stop him!”

She looked straight through me like I wasn’t even there.

“Joey, don’t go,” Ollie begged, running down the stairs. “Please.”

“You swore,” Tadhg cried harshly. “You fucking promised you wouldn’t leave us!”

“O-ee,” Sean wailed as he shimmied down the steps on his bottom. “O-ee!”

A huge shudder rolled through Joey and he dropped his head. “I’m so sorry.”

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