“Because this isn’t fixable,” Joey tossed back. “I know it, Shannon knows it… Christ, even Sean knows it, and he’s three!”
“I don’t know what you told your boyfriend, Shannon, but you need to make him stop,” Darren stated, turning his attention back to me. “He’s interfering in something he knows nothing about.”
“I haven’t told him anything,” I murmured, heart racing at the thought of Johnny. “And he’s not my—”
“You’re barking up the wrong tree if you think you’ll keep her fella quiet,” Joey scoffed. “Not everyone can be put in a box, Darren.”
“Joey, for the love of god, can you just stop talking!” Darren snarled. “If you’re not here to help, then go home.”
“Fine, I’ll go,” Joey hissed. “Because I’m having no part in this.” Swinging around, he glared at Darren. “If you want to lie and fuck these kids up further by keeping that woman in their lives, then go right ahead, I clearly can’t stop you, but I’m done being a pawn in this game. I’ve done my time.”
“It’s not a game, Joey,” Darren growled. “This is our lives.”
“Then I don’t want this life,” Joey choked out, face flushed. “If this is how we have to live, then I don’t want to behere.”
“Joe—”
“I’ll see ya later, Shan,” Joey croaked out before stalking toward the door. “I’m out.”
I watched, frozen to the bed, as Joey stormed out, letting the door slam shut behind him. I didn’t want him to go. Being left alone with Darren was the last thing I wanted to happen, not because I feared him, but because I didn’t know him. He was a man now, and by the look of his designer suit and expensive-looking watch, a man I had very little in common with.
“What are you now?” I asked, disappointed with myself for allowing my curiosity to get the better of me. With my wire-clad hand, I gestured to his clothes. “What do you do?”
Darren leaned back in his chair, eyes locked on mine. “I work for an international IT company.” Shifting in his chair, he pulled on his tie again. “I’m based in their Belfast branch.”
“So, that’s where you’ve been?” I asked, swallowing down the pain. “All this time and you’ve been a six-hour car drive away?”
“Yeah.” He nodded slowly and then stopped. “Well, no, I spent the first four years in Birmingham, getting my degree and working an apprenticeship. I moved to Belfast in late 2003.”
“Oh.” I wasn’t sure what else to say so I remained quiet. In truth, I wasn’t sure there was anything elsetosay. He left. We stayed. His life improved. Ours worsened. End of story.
“I had to get out, Shannon,” he added quietly.
I knew that. But so did we.
“Did it get better for you?” I heard myself ask. I glanced up at him. “Did you find peace?”
Darren hesitated before saying, “I found a way to cope.”
Exhaling shakily, I nodded. “Good.”
“I have a partner,” he offered, sounding a little uncertain. “His name is Alex. We’ve been together three years. We share a small apartment on the outskirts of the city center.”
“Does he love you?” I asked.
Darren nodded. “Yeah, he loves me, Shan.”
“I’m glad.” Dropping my gaze to my hands, I cracked my knuckles and tried to find the right words. “I was always on your side.” My voice was small. “I wanted you to be happy—to find someone who loves you. I never cared about whether that was a boy or a girl. I always wanted you to know that.” I shrugged helplessly. “I was afraid you didn’t.”
“Shannon,” Darren said with a sigh. “I didn’t want to leave you behind.”
“But you did, Darren,” I whispered, forcing myself not to blink. “Youdidleave us behind.”
“Do you hate me?”
“No.” I sighed. “But I don’t know who you are anymore.” I lifted my gaze to meet his. “And you don’t know me, either.”
“I know who you are, Shannon,” he said, voice trembling. “You’re my baby sister who loves to sing and dance and read—and you’re smart. You’re so smart, Shannon. You’ve got the best school marks out of all of us. You love to play basketball. You love animals. Your favorite color is pink. You’re always bringing home injured animals and birds and nursing them back to health. You want to go to University College Dublin to study to be a veterinarian, and your ultimate ambition in life has always been to travel the world.”