Startled at the contact, I pulled at the gown I was draped in to reveal a white bandage strapped between the left side of my rib cage and my breast. What the hell was happening to me? “Oh god, Joey—”
“Relax.” A hand moved to cup my chin and I clenched my eyes shut, body turning to stone in the bed as fear spiraled inside of me. “Take some nice, slow breaths.”
Relax, it’s a gentle touch, I slowly registered, but I couldn’t be certain of anything anymore.
Struggling to remain in control and not let the panic consume me, I drew in short, slow breaths, flinching when my chest burned in protest. My head was throbbing so hard it felt like it was going to burst. I raised my free hand to hold my forehead, only to freeze when my fingers grazed what felt like gauze on my cheek.
And then I remembered.
Dad.
Dread seized my heart, my pulse rising erratically as memories of my father beating me, beating Joey, hitting Tadhg, hurting Mam all filled my mind in one fell swoop.
Was he here? Was he close by? Was I in trouble?
“It’s okay,” the voice continued to say, tone soft and coaxing. “You’re in the hospital, but you’re safe now, okay? Nobody is going to hurt you.”
Safe now.
I felt like laughing at the empty promise.
Reluctantly, I tore my eyes open and just laid there, ice-cold and heart frozen, as I stared up at the man looking down at me.
“Hey, kid,” he said, voice familiar and warm like Christmas morning. “It’s been a while.”
I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. Instead, I just stared back at him.
Exhaling a shaky breath, he released my chin and reached for my hand again. I quickly snatched it away, not wanting his touch.
“Where’s Joey?” I asked when I finally found my voice again. It didn’t sound like it belonged to me. It was cracked and hoarse, but the words were coming from my lips, so I pushed on. “I need to talk to Joey.” I needed to know what I was supposed to say if someone asked me what happened.I didn’t know the story.“Is he here?” Kicking off the covers holding me to the bed, I scrambled up the mattress until my back was aligned with the metal headboard, and dragged in another pained breath. Ignoring the fire in my chest, I glanced around the bright room, wary and fearful. “I really need Joey, please.”
“Shannon, you need to calm down—”
“I needJoey,” I croaked out, flinching away when he tried to touch me.
“I’m here, Shannon.” Blue eyes so similar to mine implored me to understand something I never could. “I’m coming home. For good.”
“I don’t care,” I said, voice void of all emotion as I wrestled with my anxiety. “I need my brother.”
“I’m your brother, too,” he said sadly.
“No.” I shook my head, refuting his claims. “You left us there. You’re not my—”
“Shan!” Joey’s voice filled my ears, followed by the sound of a door banging loudly. “I told you to stay the fuck away from her.” Stalking into the room like someone wired to NASA, Joey shouldered Darren out of the way and sank down on the edge of my bed. “She just woke up, asshole,” he added, knees bobbing restlessly as he fussed with the blankets around my feet, covering up my bare legs. “The last thing she needs is another fucking drama.”
“Joe.” My hands shot out of their own accord, steadying his jittering arm. “What’s happening?”
The moment my eyes landed on his face, I let out a pained sob. The skin below his eyes was black and blue, his nose was clearly broken again, and his bottom lip busted and swollen.
“Oh, Joe.” Reaching up, I brushed his hair off his face, revealing two bloodshot eyes with pupils so dilated the green in his eyes was almost absent. Fear enveloped me. I knew what those bloodshot and blackened eyes represented, and it wasn’t one of our father’s beatings. It represented something much worse, something I thought he had gotten a handle on last year. “Tell me you didn’t—”
“Don’t worry about it,” he hurried to say, tone gruff as he captured my hand and set it back down on my lap. “I’m fine.”
No, he wasn’t fine. He was high.
“I’mfine, Shannon,” Joey repeated, giving me a look that told me todrop it.
Clasping my hands together, I remained silent, swallowing down a million unspoken words to join the others festering inside of me. “What’s going on?”