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“Are you mad at me?” he asked hoarsely, nuzzling my bare shoulder with his nose as he trailed his fingers over my spine.

I shook my head, keeping my face buried in his neck. “No, I’m not mad at you, Johnny.”

“No?” He pressed a kiss to my shoulder. “You sure?”

“Positive,” I whispered, keeping a death grip on his neck. “I just want to keep you.”

He chuckled softly. “You can.”

“You promise?” I croaked out, clenching my eyes shut and tightening my hold on his poor neck.

“I promise,” he replied gruffly, pressing another kiss to my collarbone. “I’m already yours.”

“What are we going to do, Johnny?” I dared to ask the question that had been plaguing me for weeks. “When you get the call up?”

Johnny sighed heavily. “That’s an if, not a when, Shannon, and a very big one at that.”

“You’re going to get the call,” I choked out, chewing on my lip nervously. “What happens when you go?”

“I don’t know how that’s going to play out,” he finally replied.

“It’s scary,” I admitted in a small voice. “Thinking about you going away soon.”

“I know,” he told me, voice thick. “It’s scary for me, too.”

“Really?” I asked shakily.

“Of course! Shannon, I don’t want to leave you,” he said, tightening his hold on me. “But if I make it onto the squad, it’s only for a month of the summer and then I’ll be back to you.”

I exhaled a ragged breath, panicked at the very thought of spending that long a time away from him. “I know.”

“Don’t be sad,” he coaxed, wrapping me up in his arms. “It might not even happen.”

It is going to happen.

Johnny is going to leave.

Just like he warned me months ago…

“I love you, Shannonlike the river,” he said, breaking through my depressing thoughts. “Only you.” Leaning back so that I had no choice but to lift my face and look at him, he smirked. “Like, a crazy fucking amount.”

“I love you, too,” I choked out, voice thick with emotion, giving him back his words. “Like, a crazy fucking amount.”

Pressing a gentle kiss to my lips, Johnny pulled back and whispered, “I want to make you feel good.”

My heart hammered wildly. “You do?”

He nodded slowly, blue eyes locked on mine. “May I?”

I blew out a ragged breath and nodded weakly. “Yes.”

Shifting us around so that I was beneath him with my legs dangling off the side of the bed, he pressed the palm of his hand against my stomach, encouraging me to lie back down. “I want to taste you,” he told me as he knelt on my bedroom floor and reached for the edge of my knickers. “Is that okay?”

Was it?

Oh god.

“Yeah.” Nodding eagerly, I sagged back against the duvet, arching my hips upward as Johnny slid my underwear off and pushed my thighs apart.

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