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“We can talk about it,” Gibsie called back, arms out to catch the ball. “You’re allowed to tell your best friend.”

“I’m not talking about her.”

“Holding things in isn’t good for a person.”

“What do you want me to say?” I snapped, flinging the ball back at him.

“I want you—” Words breaking off, he caught the ball with a loudooof,and then tossed it on the grass before continuing, “To tell me what you got up to in your room.” He waggled his brows. “When you snuck Little Shannon in there.”

“Jesus.” Giving up on having a normal conversation, I grabbed my water bottle off the grass and headed for the car park. “I’m calling it a day.”

“Already?”

“I’m tired.”

“Because you were up late bumping uglies with your girlfriend?” Gibsie teased, falling into step beside me. “Ah, yes, that can take it out of a fella.” Bumping shoulders with me, he said, “So, what are we talking here? Full-on penetration or just some heavy petting? Or theslip and slide? The oldrub and bump. The ‘just a little more’. The ‘we’ll stop here, except we never do’?” His eyes lit up. “Holy shit, did you go bareback?”

“What are youtalkingabout?”

“Sex,” he replied simply.

“We didn’t have sex,” I muttered, pulling my keys out of my pocket. “It’s not like that.”

“Notlikethat?” Gibsie shot back, disbelieving. “Don’t piss down my back and tell me it’s raining.”

“Gibs,” I snapped, flustered. “It’s not, okay? I’m not doing that with her.” Pressing the button on my key fob, I unlocked my car and moved for the driver’s side. “It’s too soon.”

“Did Shannon say that?”

“I said that,” I growled, yanking the door open and climbing in. “Me, Gibs.I’msaying it’s too soon.”

“But you were tempted, weren’t ya?” he asked, dropping into the passenger seat beside me. “No one’s that much of a saint.”

I debated turning on the stereo to drown out his voice. That’s what Ishouldhave done. Instead, I heard myself say, “I wanted to.” Sighing heavily, I added, “Badly.”

“But?”

“But she’s not ready,” I choked out, furious with myself for talking about this. “AndI’mnot bleeding ready.”

“Lad, you’ve had sex before,” Gibsie replied, frowning. “I know it’s been a while, but you weren’t reborn a virgin when you came out of surgery.”

“It’s different with her.”

“How?”

“Feelings, Gibs,” I bit out. “Huge fucking feelings.”

“Ugh.” He shuddered. “Sounds awful.”

“It’s allmorewith her,” I explained, knees bopping restlessly. Drumming my fingers against the steering wheel, I thought about what I wanted to say, tried to find a tactful way to phrase it, then said to hell with it and came right out with, “I’m losing control over my life. She walked in and tossed everything on its ass. I’m literally scrambling, trying to put everything back together and piece out a new plan. I don’t know how to handle her, and I’m scared of pushing her too far, too fast, and fucking it all up. I thinkshethinks I don’t want her that way, which is fucking insanity because you’ve seen her.

“Jesus, whowouldn’twant her? But that’s the problem. I don’t justwanther. I want tokeepher. And what if I hurt her? She’s so small, Gibs. And she’s only sixteen. And her ma’s threatening me. I feel like if I put one foot wrong here, it’s over, and I’m so fucking scared of screwing this up, Gibs. I don’t want to wreck it. I can barely breathe when I’m around her. Everything goes all hazy andfeelings…fucking feelings justfloodme!” I blew out a breath, feeling relieved to have it off my chest. “I’m completely fucked, aren’t I?”

“I think so,” Gibsie agreed.

“Yeah.” I sighed. “I think so, too.”

“Your mind is a scary place to be,” he mused, scratching his chin. “Can you not overthink everything?” He tilted his head to one side, studying my face with a peculiar expression etched on his own. “Seriously, can’t you just turn that big sponge of a brain off and just relax?”

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