“I don’t know,” he replied, tone light. “I’ve never had a girlfriend. I have no fucking clue of what the relationship etiquette in this situation should be.” Grinning, he added, “I usually solve my problems with my tongue.”
“Gibs—”
“I’m serious,” he said. “Mad at me? Have a lick out. Hurt your feelings? Let me eat you out.” He shrugged. “It’s all I know, lad.”
“Is that what you did today?” I narrowed my eyes. “Used your tongue to sort Claire’s shit?”
He stared blankly back at me.
I groaned. “Tell me you didn’t.”
“I’m not telling you anything,” he shot back. “Let’s just concentrate onyourfuckups for today.”
Fair point.
“One day,” I groaned, dropping my head. “One bleeding day and I made a hash of it.”
“Yep,” he laughed. “It’s a new record for you.”
“Fuck it—” Lowering myself back down, I rolled out my shoulders, groaning in relief when my muscles clicked and popped back into place. “I’m going over there.”
“Good,” he agreed. “About time.”
My mouth fell open. “But you said I shouldn’t—”
“Hey.” Gibsie held his hands up and grinned. “I’m the last person you should be taking advice from.” Shrugging, he added, “I’m following your lead, lad.”
“Jesus, we’re fucked,” I muttered.
“That we are, buddy. That we are,” he replied, slapping my back. “But seriously, you really should know better than to take my advice to heart since I’ve clearly dug myself into a hole I can’t get the fuck back out of.”
“What’s going on there, lad?” I asked, frowning. “Does Dee have something on you?”
“Nah.” He shook his head. “Nothing I can’t handle.”
“You sure?”
“Absolutely.”
A trickle of unease ran down my spine. “Gibs, if you’re in trouble, you can talk to me.”
“Appreciate the concern, but you’re the one whose girlfriend is on the other side of the street, Johnny.” He chuckled. “And besides, I have a plan.”
I narrowed my eyes. “What kind of plan?”
“On how to keep my dick in my pants,” he told me.
“What—and out of the school secretary?”
“Yep.” He nodded. “I’m injured now. Out of action for the next six to eight weeks.” He gave me two enthusiastic thumbs up. “She can’t touch me anymore.”
“You’re injured? Where? How? What the…” I shook my head and gaped at him. “You’re going to have to elaborate a little more for me here, lad, because if you’re using a picture of my cock and pretending it’s yours—” He dropped his pants and I sucked in a sharp breath. “Holy shite!” Gaping in horror, my hand automatically moved to cup my own dick. “What the fuck were you thinking?”
“I was thinking I need a way to keep my dick out of the school secretary,” he shot back, holding his dick in his hand.
“When did you do this to yourself?” I demanded, outraged.
“During the Easter holidays,” he replied. “I told you I was bored.”