He grimaced. “My ma’s just…”
“She’s just what?” My pulse quickened as I waited in fear for what he would say next.
“Worried,” he finally replied. “My parents don’t want me going over to your place. They think it’s a bad idea.”
My heart sank.
Oh god, you’re a bad idea.
His parents think you’re a bad idea for him, Shannon.
I worried my bottom lip, biting down so hard I was surprised not to taste blood. “I’m sorry.” Feeling at a loss, I clasped my hands together, a nervous trait, and sighed. “For all of it.”
Johnny reached up and tucked my hair behind my ear. “Can you do me a favor?”
Nodding, I stopped myself from leaning my cheek into his touch. “Of course.”
“Can you not climb back inside that shell of yours every time we’re not together for a few days?”
I swallowed eyes locked on his. “My shell?”
“Your shell,” he confirmed. “Don’t do that to me, Shannon—don’t block me out. Don’t give meyoulast weekend and then take it away again. I’m the same me from that night in my house. I’m the same me from every other time we’ve been together. So don’t put a wall up between us, not when you’ve already let me climb over it.”
“I’m… I didn’t realize I was doing that,” I admitted.
“You’re doing it now,” he confirmed gruffly. “You do it all the time.”
“I…” Shaking my head, I shrugged helplessly. “Sorry.”
“Don’t say ‘sorry,’” he replied. “Just start trusting me, okay?”
“I do trust you, Johnny,” I choked out, nodding eagerly, desperate for him to know that. “But they’re probably right,” I added, feeling a crippling wave of uncertainty flood me. “Your parents, I mean.” Blowing out a breath, I touched my forehead with my hand and mumbled, “About it being a bad idea.”
“They’re wrong,” Johnny corrected, sounding so confident and sure in this moment that it was comforting to hear. “I’m right.”
“Right about what?”
“I’m right about you.”
Oh god.
“But Iama bad idea for you, Johnny,” I replied shakily, needing him to hear me, giving him the out that, if he had sense, he would take. “I’m a lot of trouble.”
“I like your trouble,” he countered, stepping closer.
“My life iscomplicated.”
“I want your complications.”
My breath escaped in a rush. “You do?”
He nodded slowly. “You asked me what I wanted? There’s a lot of things, but in a nutshell, I just want you.” Shrugging, he added, “And I’m kind of hoping that you’re going to say that you want me, too.” He laughed nervously. “Or else I’ve just made a complete spanner of myself in the middle of the school hall—”
“I do back,” I blurted out and then cringed. “You, as well.” Shaking my head, I blew out a breath and tried again. “I want you, too.”
“Yeah?” He beamed, shoulders sagging in relief. “Thank fuck for that.”
“And I missed you.” I choked out the words, forcing them out of my head and into his, because, at the very least, I needed him to know that I missed him. “Terribly,” I added, offering up another piece of trust to him. “Like, so much.”