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She hadn’t answered a single one of my questions for over an hour, but I couldn’t let it go.

Icouldn’twalk away.

Not this time.

“Why, Mam?” I hissed, tears dripping down my cheeks. “Do you hate methatmuch?”

She shuddered, her frail shoulders jerking violently, as she stubbed out her cigarette in the ashtray before quickly sparking up another one.

“Answer me!” I screamed, barely managing to restrain myself from reaching across the table and shaking her. “You owe me that much, dammit!”

“He’s not safe for you, Shannon” was all she said, and her words were barely more than a broken whisper.

“You’re going crazy,” I choked out, shaking my head in horror. “You are losing your bloody mind!”

“I did the right thing. I did the right thing,” Mam whispered over and over, as she sucked on her cigarette. “I protected you.”

“He’snota problem for me,” I choked out. “Johnny’s a good person.” A huge sob tore through my throat and I heaved, feeling so much pain and resentment that I thought I was drowning. “Andyouscared him away. You pushed the one good thing in my life away from me.” Sniffling, I batted my tears away, furious with myself, my mother, and the whole damn world. “He’ll never talk to me again,” I choked out, feeling the threat of a panic attack nip at my heels. “You ruined everything for me!”

“No.” She shook her head. “You’ll see, I did the right thing.”

“Mam,” Darren, who was sitting opposite our mother, interjected. “You’re not making any sense here.”

“Shecan’tmake sense of it,” I choked out, pointing an accusing finger at her. “Because she knows she’s wrong.”

“I’m not wrong,” Mam whispered, trembling. “He’s just like your father.”

“Mam!” Darren snapped. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s true,” she whispered, flicking ash into the ashtray and taking another deep drag. “He’ll be just like her father.”

“Stop it!” I screamed. “Stop trying to do that to him.”

“You’ll be glad I stopped it,” she whispered. “Stopped you from making my mistakes.”

“You’re wrong,” I hissed, blinking back the hot, scalding tears. “You’re a fucking liar and Ihateyou!”

“Shannon, that’s enough!”

“It’s not enough.” Backing away, I put some distance between our bodies, because I honestly didn’t feel like I was in control of myself in this moment. “Joey was right.” I blinked away my tears. “You’re not good for us.”

“Come on, Shannon.” Darren groaned, rubbing his jaw. “Screaming and name-calling isn’t helping anyone—”

“Then stop sitting there anddosomething,” I begged, shaking so hard I felt like I was about to convulse. “You know this is wrong.” My breath hitched and I hiccupped a pained sob. “You know what she did wasawful, and you’re just letting her get away with it.”

“No, I’m not,” he countered. “She knows she was wrong, don’t you, Mam?”

Silence.

“Mam,” Darren pushed, tone harder now. “Tell Shannon that you know you were wrong.”

Nothing.

“Mam!” Darren barked, voice cracking. “Answer us.”

“Don’t bother.” Joey’s voice cut through the stony silence and I spun around to find him leaning against the doorframe, casually observing the situation. “She can’t hear you,” he added, tone emotionless. “Because she’s broken.” He looked Darren square in the eyes and said, “You’ll figure that out soon enough.”

“Joe.” Crying hard, I barreled toward him, not stopping until my face was buried in his chest. His chest that smelled like Johnny because he was still wearing his clothes. “Make this stop.”

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