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I needed to know. I didn’t want him to think I was a charity case, or worse, be with me because he felt sorry for me. The prospect left a sour taste in my mouth.

“Is this a…” His words trailed off and he slipped out from behind me, shifting into a sitting position on the couch. “Are you being serious?”

I nodded, wishing I wasn’t serious, wanting more than anything to play this off as a joke, but knowing I never could because the answer was too important to me. “Yeah.” Pulling myself onto my knees, I turned to face him and said, “I need to know.”

“I don’t justlikeyou. I fucking—” Shaking his head, Johnny rubbed his jaw before looking back at me. “Shannon, I love you.”

I stopped breathing. “You love me?”

He nodded slowly, blue eyes locked on mine. “Like, a crazy fucking amount.”

“Really?”

“Really,” he confirmed. “And I’d ask your permission, but I didn’t even ask mine.”

“Oh…” I exhaled shakily and nodded. “Okay.”

Johnny arched a brow. “Okay?”

“I just…I thought you were high when you said it that night,” I blurted out, shifting closer until my knees brushed against his bare thigh. “I didn’t think you meant it.”

“I was definitely high that night,” he agreed, twisting around to face me. “And I definitely meant it that night.”

My heart galloped wildly. “You did?”

“Iloveyou,” he went right ahead and rocked my world by saying again. “Present tense—as in I mean it now. And maybe I shouldn’t be saying that, maybe I’m fucking everything up by telling you that when you’re in the middle of your family stuff, but it’s the truth.” He shrugged helplessly. “I’minlove with you. I think I’ve been that way for a while now—a long fucking while, if we’re being totally honest.” Exhaling shakily, he added, “And that scares the shit out of me worse than the thought of not making the U20s.Youscare me more than anyone I’ve ever come up against on a pitch.”

“Wow.” I released a shaky breath. “I can’t believe you just said all that.”

“I know.” He looked a little sick when he said, “Dick move, huh?”

“I love you back,” I blurted out, feeling a flood of heat rush through my body. “Like, a crazy fucking amount,” I added, giving his words back to him.

“Yeah?” Johnny’s smile was a breathtaking, full dimpled one, and it took the air clean out of my lungs. “Really?”

I nodded solemnly. “It’s true.”

Still smiling, he shook his head as if to clear his thoughts and said, “And going back to your earlier question, I like you because you’re you, Shannon. I’ve never met another girl like you.”

I scrunched my nose up. “You mean another girl as screwed up as me.”

“No, I mean a girl as kind, and caring, and trustworthy, and loyal asyou,” he countered gruffly. “And beautiful. Jesus Christ, you are so fucking beautiful that it’spainfulto look at you. I’ve never seen anything like you in my life.”

I felt like melting into the couch. “Johnny—”

“No, no, just let me get this out before I lose my nerve, okay?” he hurried to say, sounding flustered.

I snapped my mouth shut and nodded.

Exhaling another shaky breath, Johnny continued, “It’s like youseeme—and I see you. Christ, I think you saw through me that very first day on the pitch at school, because I sure as hell haven’t been the same since, Shannon. You don’t give a shite about rugby. It never fazed you and thatthrewme because I’m not used to that. I’m not used to having someone want me for…well, for me—but you did. And you took the time to notice me. To see things that no one else was seeing, things I didn’t want to acknowledge to myself.” He ran a hand through his hair and slumped, his broad shoulders bowing.

“And I was scared, Shannon. I was so fucking afraid of how I felt for you. I still am. You scare the absolute shite out of me—for reasons I’m still not entirely sure of, because in all honesty I don’t know what the fuck is happening here. My head is in pieces and I’m so far out of my comfort zone that I feel like I’m balancing on thin ice, but I know that there’s no other person I wouldwillinglyput myself out there for like I have with you.” He shrugged helplessly. “Like I’m doing right now.”

“Johnny, I—” I opened my mouth to say something,anything, but I couldn’t speak. I felt like I was drowning in my feelings. Iknewthat I was drowning inhim. “I…”

“And I know what you’re thinking,” he added, sounding agitated. “You think I’m sticking around because of your da. You think I feel sorry for you.”

My breath hitched in my throat. “No.”

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