Page 72 of Keeping 13

“Are you sure?” she whispered.

“Listen,” I said, turning my body to give her my full attention. “There’s something you should know about me, and it’s that I don’t do feelings fleetingly. I’m not a fleeting fucking anything… That’s not how I work. So when I tell you something, or when I do something, I mean it. I’ve thought it through. And I’m telling you that Iwantyou here with me.”

Her mouth fell open, her pouty lips forming a perfect little O.

“Yeah.” I smirked, resisting the urge to reach over and tip her chin back up. “Oh.”

“Johnny?” she asked then, shimmying closer. “Can I ask you one more thing?”

“Yeah…” The word came out all gruff, and I had to clear my throat before trying again. “Yeah, Shan. You can ask me anything.”

“Are you ever going to kiss me?”

Holy fuck.

Keep the head, Kav. Keep your cool and do not scare her off. You’ve got her back, nowkeepher here. Don’t lunge, lad. Hold it back…

I took me a few seconds to process her words before I could speak. “Do youwantme to kiss you?”

“It would be nice to not have to make the first move and then run away.” Her voice was barely more than a whisper, and she ducked her face for the briefest moment before looking back up at me, those blue eyes sucking me right in. “It would save me a lot of panicking,” she added with a small shrug. “That’s what I want—to not have to panic.” She chewed on her bottom lip for a moment before continuing. “To know where I stand with you.”

“I want to kiss you, Shannon.” Ignoring the pain in my groin, I twisted my body around to face her fully. “Iwillkiss you,” I amended, feeling all hot and flustered. “If that’s what you want.”

Shannon exhaled slowly. “Okay.”

I eyed her warily. “Okay.”

She remained perfectly still, eyes locked on mine, cheeks flushed, expressionexpectant?

“What—like, right now?” I asked, feeling a little fucking panicky at being put on the spot myself. “You want me to do it now?” Christ, I was making a hash of this. “I just thought you might, you know, want to talk some more.”

“I don’t want to do any more talking, Johnny,” she whispered. “I’ve done enough of that to last me a lifetime.”

“I just don’t want to pressure you,” I choked out, hearing the nervousness in my own bleeding voice. “All the shite you’ve been through with your da, and now Joey. And your ma and her drama. And Jesus, your face is all hurt and sore, and your body—” I shrugged, at a complete loss. “I’m just… I think we should keep talking. Fuck, Shannon, I don’t want you to feel like I’m taking advantage of you—”

“Are you going to kiss me or not?” Shannon stunned me by asking.

“I just… I don’t… I’m trying…” My words broke off and I exhaled a pained sigh as I watched her watch me, those sucker-punching blue eyes wide and welcoming. “Fuck it—”

Unable to take another second of this, I cupped the back of her neck, closed the space between us, and crushed my lips to hers.

Moaning into my mouth, her hands moved to the front of my jumper, fingers knotting in the fabric as she tugged and pulled and encouraged me to come closer.

Ah, fuck.

Capturing her hands with mine, I repressed every fucked-up urge inside of me and just kissed her back, desperately trying to keep my cool and not push for too much. All I wanted to do was pick her up and wrap her body around mine, make a better angle for myself, but I couldn’t do any of that.

Take it slowly,my hormone-clouded brain warned.Don’t fuck this up, lad.

However, the minute I felt her tongue take a tentative swipe against mine, I knew I was completely fucked. I couldn’t take it. I honest to god couldn’ttakethe pressure in my chest. It caused a vital circuit attached to my self-control to crash and burn.

My brain switched off and my body took over. My dick was sitting firmly in the driver’s seat, and I was moving purely on instinct, kissing her back deeply, knowing there was a reason I needed to stop but not finding the willpower to put the brakes on.

My hands moved to tangle in her hair andherhands moved to my waist, pulling at my flesh and encouraging me to come with her as she fell onto her back. And Christ if I wasn’t right there with her, diving in like a fucking maniac, desperate for the taste of her as our tongues dueled together for what was, without a doubt, the best kiss of my life.

Kissing her was different because there were feelings involved. Big, huge, terrifying fucking feelings that I knew she felt, too. It was different because itmattered—because we mattered toeach other.

My body was burning up, partially from the agonizing pain that was made worse with every reckless thrust of my hips against hers, but mostly from the sheer fucking excitement of having her hands on my skin.

---