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“He doesn’t want to stay out, Darren,” I snapped. We were all a product of our environment. And Joey? Joey wasangry. “He wants to not be in a house with her!”

“Well, whether he likes it or not, she happens to be his mother,” Darren snapped. “He has a room in this house if he wants it. The door is always open to him. It’s his choice if he wants to act out and not cooperate. I can’t make him stay.”

“Act out? Not cooperate?” I narrowed my eyes and forced down the urge to scream. “He’s doing this because he’s in pain and nobody is hearing him.”And especially not you!

“Then he needs to sit down and talk about how he’s feeling,” Darren insisted. “Not run around banging his fists on his bloody chest.” He ran a hand through his dark hair, clearly frustrated. “I want to help him, Shannon. I do. But I can’t do that if he won’tletme.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but just shook my head instead. There was no point in continuing with this conversation. Darren didn’t get it. He either couldn’t or wouldn’t see this from Joey’s perspective, and I wasn’t wasting any more of my energy trying to make him.

“You’re failing him,” I whispered, unable to stop the words from pouring out. “Just like they did.”

“Shannon.” Darren flinched like I had physically hit him, and I guess I had—with the truth. “I’m here for all of you,” he choked out. “For whatever you need. Day or night.”

Yeah, all of us except for Joey.

“Then can I use your phone?” I asked, already knowing the answer before asking. Narrowing my eyes, I added, “You said you’d be there for whatever I need. Well, right now I need to make a phone call.”

My brother stiffened. “If it’s to callhim, then no. You heard Mam.”

I didn’t need him to elaborate. We both knew he meant Johnny. “Then can I get a phone of my own?”

Darren let out an exasperated sigh. “Shannon, we need to focus on the family right now. We have social workers breathing down our necks and the Gardaí up our asses. We don’t need any more hassle. I know you think we’re being unfair, but it has to be this way for now.”

“Then I don’t need anything from you,” I replied coldly. “Except to close the door behind you.”

“Shannon—”

“She’s wrong about him,” I hissed, having heard it all before. It had been three days since I’d seen Johnny. Three days since he’d arrived at the hospital to see me. And three days since my family had decided he was a bad idea. Mam never liked Johnny and now I knew why. He made her nervous. He knew too much and it scared her.It should. “And you’re listening to it.”

“I’m not listening to anything,” he replied, tone weary. “I don’t even know the lad.”

“Exactly,” I hissed. “You don’t know him.”

“I do know that Mam is right about you being in a vulnerable state of mind right now,” he interjected. “It’s not healthy to attach yourself to him.”

“Oh my god.” I closed my eyes and fought back the urge to reach out and break something. “You’re both disgusting.” Snapping my eyes open, I glared at my brother. “He’s myfriend, Darren. I’m allowed to have friends, you know!”

“A friend that you were caught straddling, with your skirt around your waist, in some changing room by your teacher?”

I flushed beet red.Damn you, Mr. Mulcahy.“We were kissing,” I choked out. “That’sit.”

“I’m notjudgingyou, Shannon, I’m questioning your judgment. There’s a difference,” he was quick to say. “It would be very easy for someone in your position, who’s been through severe trauma and neglect, to dive headfirst into something you’re not emotionally ready for because you’ve had a taste of affection. And…” he added cautiously, “it would be very easy for someone to take advantage of a person in that state of mind, too.”

“You are so wrong about him—”

“Just hear me out on this, okay?” he interrupted again. “I’m not saying this to hurt you. I’m just trying to make youaware.” His tone of voice was soft and gentle but his words were patronizing and made me feel sick. “You’re sixteen,” he continued. “You’ve been through hell, and suddenly there’s a young fella knocking around, saying all the right things, making you feel wanted and alive. I get that, Shannon, I do. We’ve all been there. But you need to take a step back, think about what you’re doing andwhyyou’re feeling the way you are before you jump over a ledge you can’t come back from. I don’t want you doing anything that you’re going to regret later on.”

“You don’t get it,” I whispered.

“I get it. Everyone in the history of the world gets it. You think you’re in love. You’re convinced this boy will be the boy that saves you. But it’s not real. It’s all hormones and growing pains.” Darren sighed wearily. “Your emotions are heightened when you’re a teenager, and yours are especially because of what you’ve been through.”

“I can’t believe these words are actually coming out of your mouth,” I hissed, feeling like I was being attacked. “You of all people.”

“It’s trauma bonding,” he continued. “Maybe not completely, but you’re definitely attaching yourself to him.”

“Because I love him,” I snapped, losing my cool. Blinking wildly when I realized what I had said, I debated taking it back before steeling my resolve. “I love him,” I repeated, more firmly this time. “And that hasnothingto do with trauma or my family and everything to do withhim!”

“You’re a baby, Shannon.” Darren sighed, belittling me once more. “You don’t even know what love means yet.”

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