Page 345 of Keeping 13

“What just happened?” Shannon squeaked out, as she slipped her bikini bottoms on and tied the ribbons back together.

“I don’t know,” I replied with a shake of my head, breathing hard and fast as I rearranged my shorts. “But whatever that was—” I tilted my head to one side and grinned at her. “We should do it again.”

She flushed bright pink and quickly retied her bra. “I missed you.”

“I could tell,” I teased, lowering myself onto the sand beside her. Pressing a kiss to her shoulder, I nuzzled her neck, drowning in the intoxicating smell of her. “I missed you too, Shan.”

“No, I mean I really, really missed you, Johnny,” she whispered, climbing onto my lap. “Terribly.”

“I know.” Shivering, I wrapped my arms around her. “It was the same for me.”

“Don’t go away for so long again,” she mumbled, burying her face in my neck. “Or if you do, take me with you.”

I flinched at her words. “I need to tell you something.”

She stiffened before whispering, “I’m listening.”

“They offered me a contract.”

Her body turned to stone in my arms and her fingernails dug into my shoulders. “In France?”

“No.” I blew out a ragged breath. “In Dublin.”

She was quiet for so long that I wasn’t sure she had heard me, but then she whispered, “Did you take it?”

“Not yet,” I replied hoarsely. “But it’s a two-year contract with a lot of money.” I released another pained sigh before adding, “They want me to transfer to Royce and finish out my leaving cert there. I would have to move back to Dublin in September.”

“Are you going to go?” she asked in a small voice.

“I wanted to talk to you first.”

“It’s what you want, right?”

“I’ve been working all my life for this,” I admitted.

She shivered violently. “Then you should go.”

“I should?”

“You should.”

“But I don’t want to leave you,” I confessed, voice torn.

“I know,” she replied, voice shaking. “But it’s okay that you have to.”

“Shannon—” I shook my head and buried my face in her neck.

“It’s okay, Johnny,” she sniffled, stroking my hair. “This isgood.”

“My head knows that,” I choked out. “But my heart is fucking devastated.”

“Let’s talk it through,” she said in a steadier voice than I was capable of finding given the circumstances. Leaning back, she cupped my face in her hands and looked at me with tear-filled eyes. “I am so proud of you,” she told me, tears trickling down her cheeks. “You’re the best person I’ve ever known, and I want this foryou.” Stroking her thumb over my cheekbone, she whispered, “You warned me a long time ago about this and I accepted it then. I accept itnow. This is your future, Johnny, and you are going to chase it.” She kissed me hard before continuing, “And I’m going to stand by you and support you, no matter what, for as long as you want me.”

“I willalwayswant you,” I vowed. “Fucking always. Don’t even say it like that, Shan.Christ.”

“What I mean is, if I’m the only reason you’re afraid to sign, then you need to do it,” she explained. “I mean it, Johnny. You’re not losing me. You can have both. I promise.”

“I just don’t know if I’m ready for it,” I croaked out, voice thick with emotion. “I thought I had more time.”