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“I’mdevastated,” Lizzie fake-gasped. “Watch me wipe my tears,” she added, using her middle finger to wipe her cheek.

“Are you two ever going to get along?” Claire groaned. “Even for one day?”

“Nope,” they both replied at the same time before glowering at each other.

Shannon leaned against my chest and sighed softly. “Tears, rugby, and those two fighting? This is our normal.”

“Yeah.” Wrapping my arms around her, I kissed her shoulder. “I guess it is.”

74

Recovery

Shannon

“How did it go, Shannon, love?” Mrs. Kavanagh asked when I walked into the kitchen two weeks after the funeral and set my schoolbag down on the counter beside her.

It was the smell that always hit me first when I walked into this house. It was hard to describe, but it was like I could smell thewarmth, which was ridiculous because you couldn’t smell someone’s kindness. But this woman? She radiated goodness. And the food… God, I couldn’t keep up with the sheer amount of delicious meals and snacks on hand all day long. “Well, I’m finished with third year,” I told her, dragging my thoughts back to the present. “I did it.”

She beamed at me. “Yes, you did.”

“But I’m going to fail those exams,” I croaked out, glancing at Sean who was sitting at his own tiny table by the window, concentrating on the latestmasterpiecehe was painting—to join the dozen others hanging on the fridge and walls. Sookie was snoring at his feet with a streak of green paint on her head. “My junior cert? I won’t pass it.” I swallowed and turned back to Johnny’s mother. “I just…I don’t want you to get your hopes up on me.” I shrugged, feeling helpless. “I’m not smart like what you’re used to—”

“What did I tell you about those exams?” she replied, setting a steamer filled with potatoes down in the sink and walking straight over to me. “It doesn’t matter what marks you get.” Cupping my face in her hands, she smiled down at me. “We won’t even have to open the results when they come because they don’t matter, pet. A score on a piece of paper tells me nothing, butyourising back up and returning to school to finish out the year and sit in that classroom tellseverythingabout the wonderful, strong girl you are. And you make me prouder than any exam results could.” She gave me a quick squeeze before saying, “Now, sit down and let me feed you. We’ll put meat on those bones yet.”

Smothering a laugh, I complied and sat down at the island, eyes widening when she set the biggest plate of bacon and cabbage I’d ever seen down in front of me. “Uh, thank you,” I choked out, wondering how in god’s name I was going to eat a tenth of what was on my plate. She wasn’t joking about the putting weight on my bones comment, either. I’d gained six pounds in the past month from Mrs. Kavanagh’s cooking alone.

“You’re more than welcome, pet,” she replied, setting a plate of spuds down on the counter. “Now, where’s that son of mine?”

“At the Academy.” Picking up my knife and fork, I started to cut the bacon into tiny pieces. “He dropped me home first, but the coaches are pushing him pretty hard to get him prepped before he leaves for the tour. He said he’ll be home before nine, but you know how it is with those trainers.”

“Oh Jesus,” Mrs. Kavanagh muttered. “I hate that bleeding game.”

“Yeah.” I knew what that felt like. Refusing to dwell on the very real fact that my boyfriend would be leaving in seven days, I shoveled a forkful of meat and veg into my mouth, chewing and swallowing before asking, “Where are the boys?”

“Doing their homework in the tree house,” Mrs. Kavanagh replied with a feigned sigh. “I swear, they’d live in that thing if they got their way.”

“It’s the first time they’ve ever had a space that was entirely theirs,” I explained with a small smile. “It’s a huge novelty to them to have a place to go where no grown-ups can fit. It makes them feel safe.”

“Doyoufeel safe?” Mrs. Kavanagh asked, taking a seat at the island. “Are you happy here, Shannon, love?”

Nodding eagerly, I swallowed a mouthful of food before responding. “Oh yes, and I’m so grateful to you, Mrs. Kavanagh—youandMr. Kavanagh for taking us all in—”

“It’s John and Edel,” she corrected with a smile. “No more of that Mr. and Mrs. Kavanagh talk, do you hear me?”

“Yes, Mrs. Kavanagh—I mean, Edel,” I amended, blushing. “Thank you.”

“I went to see Joey this morning,” she told me then. “He’s looking good, love.”

My eyes widened. “Did he say anything about me coming to visit?”

“He needs some more time, Shannon, pet.” She smiled sadly. “He’ll come around.”

“Yeah.” My heart sank. Joey wouldn’t see me. He wouldn’t see any of us—Aoife, included—since checking himself into that treatment center. I knew he needed to be there for reasons that stemmed far deeper than his addictions, but it wasn’t easy not talking to him every day. “Okay.”

“But he’s going to be okay,” she assured me. “And so are you.”

“Darren called again today,” I said then, cringing at the memory of my oldest brother’s frantic phone call sessions. “Four times today.”

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