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“With her,” Joey choked out, looking truly distressed. “Finish what you started,” he demanded. “We’ll be stronger withher.” Joey shook his head and laughed humorlessly. “What a fucking joke.”

“Where is she?” I asked nervously.

“At home with Nanny and your brothers.”

My heart sank. “Why?”

“Why?” Darren frowned. “What do you mean, why?”

“I mean why is she stillhere?” I choked out, fisting the sheets beneath me.

“Finally!” Joey chorused, throwing his hands up in the air. “Finally, someone gets it!”

“She’s as much of a victim as any of us,” Darren said slowly. “I know you guys don’t feel that way right now, and I completely get that, but you have to understand that she’s been through—”

“Bullshit,” Joey sneered. “Bull-fucking-shit, Darren! She’s not a victim. She’s an enabler. She enabled him to do this.” He pointed to where I was sitting. “She’s as much to blame for Shannon being in here as he is.”

“Joey, come on.”

“No.” Joey shook his head. “Maybe she was a victim the first time he put his hands on her. Hell, maybe the first ten. I’ll give her that. She was young and thick. But twenty-fouryears?” He shook his head. “No, she did this to us, Darren. She had a hand in this.”

“Have you ever thought about why there’s so many of us? Why she kept having children with that man? Why she wouldn’t leave?” Darren snapped, glaring at the both of us. “Or why she’s all fucked up in the head like she is? Have you ever thought maybe she stayed because she was terrified he would follow through on his threats? We’ve all heard the ‘I’ll kill you and the children if you leave me’ speech he’s been feeding her—since she wasfifteenyears old! For Christ’s sake, that man spent two decades breaking her down and telling her that he would kill her if she left!

“Don’t you think that might have fucked her up in the head? Did you ever consider that she was there against her will? Having children against her will? Being raped and beaten and mentally abused to the point where she lost touch with reality? She was fifteen years old when she had me—fourteen when she was pregnant!” he added. “Think about that for a minute. Think about how fucking frightened she must have been when she was thrown into a life with that monster. She doesn’t have a mother or father to show her the way. All she had in the whole fucking world was him. She was a baby having babies and it broke her!”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Joey barked. “I’m not listening to any more excuses.”

“Have either of you ever thought about why she voluntarily put us into care?” Darren pressed, tone hard. “Well, have you?”

“She wassick,” Joey snapped.

“She wasn’t sick,” Darren snarled. “She was trying to get us away from him. She was trying to save us from something she couldn’t save herself from.”

“Then why didn’t she leave us there? Maybe we would have had a fighting fucking chance.”

“Youknowwhy,” Darren shot back, shaking now. “You know!” He inhaled several calming breaths before continuing. “She was afraid that it would happen to you, too. She was scared and pregnant with Tadhg—”

“So because you got raped, we got brought home to be tortured?” Joey demanded. “Is that it? Two wrongs make a right? Because that’s some fucked-up logic if you ask me.”

“Joey!” I choked out. “Don’t!”

“I’msorrythat happened to him,” Joey said, shaking. “I’m so fucking sorry that happened to you, Darren, I really am. But I got punished for it.” He waved a hand between us. “We all did.”

“It’s okay, Joe,” I coaxed, desperate to comfort him. “Don’t get upset.”

“It’s not okay!” he choked out. “Jesus Christ, I should have taken you all out of that house years ago. I should have called it in. I knew this would happen—” His voice cracked and he dragged in a harsh breath. “But theyscaredme—made me doubt myself!” He glared at Darren. “Youterrorizedme into believing that living with him was better than what was out there.” Tears burned in his green eyes but he blinked them away.

“I had the best six months of my life with that family. So did she—” He pointed a finger at me. “We were happy with that family. We were safe! But you and Mam convinced me there was danger, that it was safer at home.” Slamming the heel of his hand against his forehead, he hissed, “I was six years old and you fucked my head so bad that I can’t trustanythingnow. I can’t even trust my own fucking instincts.”

“I was afraid of it happening to you,” Darren choked out. “I thought I was doing the right thing. I was trying to keep yousafe—”

“Byterrorizingme! You made me believe you, and youleft!” Joey roared, shaking from head to toe. “You made me trust you! I was twelve and you walked out that door and dropped it all on my shoulders. And thenIterrorized them! I told them all the same shit you told me, filled them up with all the same fears and paranoia, because that’s all I knew. And look at us now!”

“I’m sorry for leaving you, Joe.” Shuddering, Darren dropped his head. “But I had to go—”

“Yeah, and I’m sorry for believing you!” Shaking violently, Joey hissed, “I won’t make the same mistake twice.”

There was a long stretch of silence before Darren spoke again. “Look,” he said gruffly, “I don’t have all the answers for you guys, but I know I can’t turn my back on our mother.”

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