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“It’s not your size,” Mam growled before taking aim at me with the bra. “In my house!” she wailed, slapping me over the head with Shannon’s bra. “And then I went to tidy your bedside locker, and guess what I found in your drawer?” She took another swipe at me with the bra. “A box of condoms!”

“Unopenedbecause I didn’t do anything—” Diving into damage-control mode, I tightened my hold on my towel and ducked around her. “Ma, we didn’t have sex, I swear to god!”

“I’m taking the lock off your door,” she warned. “I mean it, Johnny. You can’t be trusted.”

“Fine,” I choked out, backing up as she prowled toward me. “I don’t need it because I’m not doing anything.”

“Then why was your girlfriend’s bra under your bed?” Mam demanded. “Huh?”

“She got changed in here after school a few weeks back,” I lied through my teeth. “She must have forgot to pack it in her bag.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes! That is so.” Feigning hurt and outrage, I glared at my mother. “Jesus, Ma, I can’t believe you’d think so little of me.” Huffing out a breath, I added, “I know I’m not perfect, but knowing my own mother thinks that about me really hurts.”

Mam narrowed her eyes. “Don’t you play mind games with me,Brains. I taught you everything you know, you little pup!”

Fuck.

“Look, we haven’t had sex,” I said evenly, keeping my eyes on Mam, hoping like hell she’d believe me and release her death grip on Shannon’s bra. “I promise, Ma. We haven’t.” I held my breath and waited for her to make her next move.

“I just want you to be safe,” Mam finally said with a heavy sigh as she sank down on the edge of my bed. “No, scratch that. I want to go back in time so that you’re ten years old again.”

“I’m not ten,” I replied, edging closer with caution. “I’m eighteen next month.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” she wailed, shoulders slumping. “The years are going by too fast.”

“It’ll be alright, Ma,” I assured her, not knowing what else to say. “Don’t be getting upset.”

“It’s all happening now.” She continued to weep. “You’re back to training this week, and you have a girlfriend. One of these days, I’m going to blink and you’ll be gone on me. Off to France with the rugby. And then what?”

“Come on, Ma,” I coaxed, sitting down beside her. “I don’t even know if I’m going to make the squad this year.”

“I know you will,” she replied, resting her cheek on my arm. “And I’ll be so proud of you.”

“Then why are you sad?”

“Because you’re my baby.” She sighed heavily. “And it’s hard to watch you fly from the nest.”

“I’m not jumping from any nest,” I shot back. “I’d die on my own.”

“Johnny,” Mam admonished in a sad tone. “I’m being serious.”

“So am I.” Wrapping my arm around her, I gave her shoulder a squeeze. “I’m being deadly serious. I wouldn’t make it a week without you.”

She smiled. “You think?”

I nodded. “I know.”

Mam was quiet for a long moment before asking, “Are you excited for today?” Wiping her eyes, she turned to smile up at me. “Your first day back on the pitch?”

“Terrified,” I admitted.

Concern flashed in her eyes. “You don’t have to go back,” she hurried to say. “If you’re not ready, I can call your coaches—”

“I am ready,” I cut her off by saying. “I’m just worried.”

“About what, love?”

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