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“Anyway, I can’t play tomorrow,” Claire continued to say around the pop she was sucking on. “Which is a complete disaster since Jenny Kelleher is out injured and Saoirse Doyle is still in France with her parents. It was a really important game for Tommen.” She sighed heavily, pulled the lolly out of her mouth, and handed it back to Gibsie. “Here… I’m done.”

“Yeah, me, too,” Gibsie muttered as he shoved the lollipop back in his mouth and jerked to his feet. “I have to go do something.”

“Yeah, you do,” Hughie spat out. “Sort it.”

“Huh?” Frowning, Claire stared after him. “Gerard, where are you going? What about your lunch?”

“I just need to…ah…” He let his words trail off as he pointed toward the archway and then proceeded to dart out of the room.

Johnny, who was watching their interaction, shook his head in clear dismay before scrubbing his face with his hand.

“What’s going on?” I whispered, leaning my face toward his neck. The smell of his cologne wafted into my nose and I shivered. He always smelled so good. “Where’s he going?” I asked, pulling back so I could concentrate.

With a heavy sigh, Johnny dropped a hand to my thigh and squeezed. “Trust me, Shan,” he said in a low tone, leaning close to my ear. “When it comes to Gibs, you’re really better off not knowing.”

That was the second time today that he had spoken those words, and for the second time today, I thought he might be right.

30

Misunderstandings

Shannon

After lunch, I went to the office to speak with principal Twomey and my year head, Miss Nyhan.

True to his word, Johnny came with me. Of course, Mr. Twomey didn’t want him there and tried to shoo him out of the office, but Johnny didn’t budge. It was quite comical to see our five-foot-eight aging principal, with his balding hairline and paunchy, middle-age-spread belly,shooa six-foot-three rugby player. What was even funnier was Johnny’s WTF expression when Mr. Twomey patted on his chest. Well, I was sure he was pushing on Johnny’s chest, not patting it, but he had such little effect on Johnny that it reminded me of a bluebottle fly buzzing around a bear.

When Mr. Twomey conceded and gestured for us both to sit down, Johnny took the seat beside me, and while he didn’t hold my hand, just having him sit beside me gave me this weird form of courage. I couldn’t explain it, but I felt braver when I was with him. Or maybe I just felt safer? It was strange considering I never felt more off-balance than I did when I was with him, but it was a good type of off-balance—an excited, sick-to-my-stomach, about to keel over at any moment but don’t stop touching me because my heart’s going to burst in my chest and I need to feel you everywhere or I’ll explode kind of off-balance.

I answered all of the standard, mandatory questions doled out to me by Mr. Twomey and Miss Nyhan, accepted all theI’m so sorry this happened to youandDon’t be afraid to talk to ussmall talk and then I went on my way, forcing myself to sit through my last three classes.

Surprisingly, I coped very well with the stares and hushed whispers from my classmates and the sympathetic gazes from my teachers. I guess it helped that Lizzie had melded herself to my side and was emanating some pretty seriousFuck with me and I’ll cut your heart outvibes.

When the final bell rang at 4:00 p.m., signaling the end of our school day, I was feeling warily optimistic. Like maybe Icoulddo this after all. Like maybe I could actually get my life back on track.

“Do you want to come over to my place?” Claire asked, leaning against my desk, watching as I piled my books back into my schoolbag after our last class. Aside from Miss Moore, who was sitting at her desk, we were the last two people in the classroom, with everyone running for the hills the moment the bell sounded, including Lizzie, who had dashed off to meet Pierce, muttering something about a personal crisis. “Even for an hour?”

“I’d love to,” I replied, zipping my bag closed before standing up. “But Darren’s probably waiting outside for me already.” Grabbing my chair, I hoisted it onto the table and turned to face her. “I’m being monitored.”

“Ugh.” Claire scrunched her nose up in distaste. “Your family is beyond messed up.”

“Yep.” Hoisting my bag onto my back, I gave her a solemn nod. “Couldn’t agree more.”

“Do you want to just come anyway?” she asked as we walked out of the classroom and into the hallway. “Like, ditch Darren?” Grinning mischievously, she fell into step alongside me as we headed for the main entrance. “Gerard has the car and I know he’d give us both a spin back to my house.”

“What was going on with him at break?” I asked, curious. Tightening my grasp on my shoulder straps, I walked briskly to keep up. “He just ran out at lunch and never came back.”

“I don’t know, Shan, and sometimes I think I’m better off that way.” Sighing, she added, “Something tells me that if I knew, it would be painful.”

“Claire.” I looked at her sad expression. “Are you okay?”

She nodded and offered me a watery smile. “I’m fine.”

“Why don’t you just tell him how you feel?” I asked gently. “It’s obvious that he feels the same way.”

“He doesn’t,” she mumbled. “It’s all about the chase for him. If I give in now, he’ll get bored.”

I pondered her words for a moment before saying, “He might surprise you.”

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