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“Say what you want, but I’m being practical,” he replied, slurping loudly on his lollipops as he perused his freebies proudly. “And sensible.” Sifting through what had to be a minimum of eighty different-colored condom wrappers, he compiled a neat stack to the left of his sandwich. “One of us has to be.”

“One of us has to be?” I narrowed my eyes. “Are you serious? You honestly think you’re the sensible one in this relationship?”

“Well, where areyourcondoms, Johnny?”

“I’m not having sex, so I don’t need any.”

“Sure.” He, in turn, rolled his eyes to the heavens. “Famous last words, lad.”

“You look like a gobshite,” I stated. “Pack it away, will ya?”

“Why?”

“Because everyone can see you.”

“And I care because?” he shot back, unfazed. “Fuck them all.” Grinning, he waggled his brows. “You’re just afraid yourgirlfriendis going to see.” Snickering, he shook his head and continued to make small piles. “Lad, I can’t believe you signed yourself off.” He sighed dramatically. “I guess it’s down to me and Feely now, since you and Hugh both fucked yourselves over.”

Dear Jesus, please give me strength to deal with his crazy today…

Leaning back in my chair, I gripped my water bottle and practiced the art of not strangling my best friend to death. “You need to put that shite away,” I bit out when I felt calm enough to speak again. I glanced around the room, looking for Shannon and coming up empty. “I’m serious, Gibs.”

“It’s all foreign,” he mused, inspecting the label. “I can’t read the instructions.”

“What’s to explain?” I shot back. “Roll it on your dick when you’re ready and roll it off when you’re done. I’d say the whole process is fairly self-explanatory, lad.”

“Well, this pile’s for you,” he offered. “Since you were too pussy to get your own.”

“I already told you that Idon’tneed any condoms,” I bit out, aggravated.I don’t need the temptation.“And if I do, I’ll get them, because believe it or not, Gibs, I am more than capable of getting shite for myself. I’ve been keeping myself out of trouble for years now.”

“True.” He shrugged, unfazed. “But that was before you went and got yourself shacked up.”

Yeah, it was safe to say I bulldozed this morning, but I had no regrets. For the first time in months, I felt like I had some clarity over my feelings. Like something in my life was falling into place.

Did I push her too hard too fast? Probably. Should I have taken it slower? More than likely. Either way, I wasn’t about to take it back.

“It’s not like that with her,” I snapped, dragging myself from my thoughts. “So just put them away before she comes in here and you freak her out.”

“No, it’s not like that with Shannon,” he agreed. “It’s a lotworseand a lot more dangerous because you went and caught yourself some big fat feelings, didn’t ya, lover boy? And I’m telling you now that this valiant act won’t mean shit when you find yourself caught in the moment, bollocks naked and drowning in tight virgin pussy. Just ask every poor bastard our age with a baby on his hip or on a food run in Dunnes Stores forcravings.” Pushing a pile of condoms toward me like he was hustling poker chips, he added, “I’m only looking out for you. So here—big-boy ones for you.”

“I can’t deal with you today, Gibs,” I growled, throwing my hands up in sheer fucking despair. “I honestly can’t.”

“Take them.”

“No.”

“Take them.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Did they adjust your medication?”

“Not lately, now take them.”

“Jesus, Gibs—”

“Take the condoms or I’ll make a scene.”

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