Page 86 of Silent Is The Heart

My God, is that what he thinks? What human being could go through the unknowns we have over the past week without doubts?

“No. You’re not,” I insist, making sure to look him in the eye as I say it.

Exhaling, his shoulders sag. He hangs his head like my words freed him of some of the weight. I’ve never witnessed anyone rely so hard on my approval. I didn’t know it was possible to love as fiercely as he does.

“What are you going to do now?” he asks, sounding a little calmer.

There are a million things to do, but there’s only one thing that I want to do right now. “Go to bed,” I reply. “I’m exhausted.”

Nodding, he rises to his feet and swipes at his tears. “I’ll leave you be.”

He’s still not looking at me, his head hung like a scolded child. He turns like he’s going to head to the door. It’s astounding. Not a word I said has sunk in. Grabbing a hold of his arm, I stop him.

“I’m going to go to bed,” I say again, but add with emphasis, “whichever ofoursyou’re planning on sleeping in.”

Lips parting, his gaze scans my face. How could I end up with one man who cared about nothing but himself and another who would walk through fire for me?

Taking his hand, I bring his knuckles to my lips and give them a kiss. “And I’ll do the same thing tomorrow,” I whisper. “And again the day after that, and for all the ones after that, until you can’t stand me anymore.”

His tears spill over his eyes. Shaking his head in disbelief, he lets out a ragged breath. God, I can’t take it anymore.

Stepping forward, I pull him into my arms and murmur against his hair. “Sometimes being broken just means you’re missing your other piece. I don’t fit anywhere better than with you, Easton. I don’t care how tattered our edges are.”

The sob that racks out of him reverberates against my chest. Sputtering, he clenches me in an embrace that I can tell is as strong as the love he has in his heart for me. He was wrong. Iamprotected. I wouldn’t have gotten through this without a love like his.

CHAPTER 43

Easton

I’m a fucking mess. A complete and utter mess. I still don’t understand how he can so easily dismiss what I did, what Leonard did, or what Jason would have done to him. For the first time in my life, I think I actually want to seek therapy. I know you’re supposed to do that kind of thing for yourself, but I’d do it for Aaron. I’d do anything to make sure I’m a solid human being who won’t lose his shit and misconstrue things in the future.

My father killed someone I loved. Then he killed someone I despised because he was trying to show me he loved me. How the fuck is a person supposed to feel about that?

If I tell the police my money was returned, they’ll go looking for him. I know it’s the right thing to do, but it seems like a lousy way to repay someone for saving the man I’m over the moon for. Right now, I just revel in the ability to be able to breathe with ease again. I revel in hearing that Aaron wants to be my missing puzzle piece. A puzzle metaphor—he’s such a dork. God, I love him. He’s right, though. I know it’s the reason I never fit anywhere with anyone else. No one is a fit for me the way he is.

Un-burrowing my snotty face from the front of his sweater, I cup his face. “I love you,” I rasp. It’s not enough though. I don’tknow if it’s possible to even convey how much I love him. I kiss his cheekbone, the corner of his mouth, his forehead. “I always have, and I always will. If I ever say I don’t, I’m lying.”

Smiling, he rubs his thumb over my jaw and whispers, “I know.”

He says it so matter-of-factly and with such confidence that a puff of laughter leaves my lips. More tears spill down my face. I must have done something right in my life if I found the one man who knows me better than I know myself.

Snaking my arms around him, I just hold him, grateful that he’s here. Grateful he’s all right. And grateful he exists. We stand there like that for a while. Whether he’s just humoring me or he needs it as much as I do, I don’t know.

When he finally draws back, I’ve stopped bawling my eyes out at least. The papers of Jason’s hideous plot are scattered all over the floor. The bag of money is open like we just robbed a bank. Aaron’s living room essentially looks like a damn crime scene. I bend down to retrieve the mess, but he stops me.

Taking the papers, he tosses them in the bag. “Just leave it,” he whispers, shaking his head.

Tugging my hand, he gives me this tender smile like nothing but us matters right now. When he starts toward his room, I go where I’m led. I’m so drained from the mind fuck that was the past few days that I'm grateful for the assistance.

Releasing my hand, he makes no great affair of undressing. He doesn’t even face me as he lets his shirt and pants fall to the floor. Bending down, he starts on my boots while I’m still working on getting my pants undone. Smiling up at me, he even waits for me to lift my feet so he can pull them off. Kicking my pants away, I’m about to reach for my socks whenhe pulls the comforter back and tugs my arm for me to crawl into bed.

My side no sooner hits the mattress, and he’s drawing the blanket over us and pulling me into his arms. I was starting to wonder if he was looking for intimacy, but the kiss he gives me is chaste and sweet. It’s like a healing seal over a wound. He places another on my forehead and then sighs, closing his eyes. I stare at his peaceful yet exhausted-looking face for a few moments. My eyes are growing heavy just from the comfort of his soft bed and from being warm in his arms. The sound of his breathing evens out into a slow stream.

He’s asleep. He just wanted to sleep next to me… to hold me.

I give up the fight and let my eyes slip closed. I suddenly understand the path to his serenity. We love each other. We know it, and that’s all that matters.

???

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