Page 70 of Silent Is The Heart

“Well, I’m living with a murderer and my boyfriend has a husband who isn’t dead. I’m fine. How are you?”

His little puff of air twists something in my heart. “I’ve been better.”

I can’t do this awkward pleasantries thing anymore. I need to know, and I need to know now.

“Have you figured out what you need to figure out?”

“No. I don’t think I’ve figured out anything.” He grimaces, scrubbing his hands down his face.

The foolish part of me that would do anything for him is pitying, but something is glaringly obvious. He freakingfigured out that hehasn’t figured outwhereIstand with him. Hedidcome to tell me goodbye. Maybe not today. Maybe tomorrow or in a few weeks or months, but I can see it.

I see all his smiles and images of his laughing profile flash before my eyes as I stare at him. I can hear all his aroused breaths, his sleepy ones, and feel the touches of his hand. I’m almost embarrassed to ask, dreading the answer, but it’s just too damn hard to let all that go.

“Did you need somewhere to stay?” I venture, hating how hopeful it sounds, almost like a plea.

His wary gaze travels to my apartment door as if he can see Leonard wielding a chainsaw through it. “No. Um, Jason’s making dinner tonight. I have to get home.”

Jason’s. Making. Dinner.

How fucking quaint. If I could scream, I would.

“South America—I’m sure you’ll like it there.”

Frowning, his brow wrinkles. “I never said I was going with him. We just have a lot to work through.”

But you never said you weren’t…

I can’t fucking do this. Turning, I start back toward my apartment. If I head downstairs, he could follow me. At least this door locks, and if I want to hit something, there’ll be a deserving target inside my apartment.

“Yeah, well, call me when he gets into another car accident.”

“Easton…that’s not fair.”

That’s life,I tell him with my hands.

“Don’t do that. Please. Don’t close up on me.”

Him and his freaking projects. I’m not a damn crossword puzzle. If he wants something to fix, he can go home and find plenty to do there.

It’s full circle, the way I open the door and see him standing in my hallway looking befuddled, just like he did the first day he showed up. It’s some creepy-ass déjà vu shit that feels like there was a brief intermission in an alternate universe where I discovered what being a boyfriend for the first time was like. I don’t understand what the point was, but I’m not going to waste another eight years dwelling on it.

“Why don’t you worry about the other man in your life? I did just fine without you.”

CHAPTER 35

Aaron

The glow of the candles on my kitchen table makes my home look like a séance. The plated food with settings next to them does the opposite of rousing hunger in me. I feel like I’m going to be sick. I think I just lost him.

“You’re late,” Jason calls, pouring red wine into a glass on the table.

I don’t have wine glasses. I sold most of my kitchenware at a pawnshop in Seattle before I left. Where did he get wine glasses?

“I had to take care of some things,” I mumble, hanging my coat up by the door.

Arching a brow, he studies me as I make my way to the kitchen. I don’t have the energy to hide anything, and for once, I honestly don’t care. If I have to accept the changes in him, he’s going to have to accept that I had a life while he was… dead.

“Your tattooed friend?” he ventures, arching a brow.

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