Page 32 of Silent Is The Heart

I don’t get to finish. The end of a metal bedframe scrapes the side of my arm.

“Coming through! Sorry about that,” Fro calls as he and Shannon guide the piece through the doorway past me. “Where’s this going?” he asks Easton.

My stalwart former patient points in the direction of my bedroom. I blink after them in a daze. Glancing out the doorway, two other men from the shop are unloading a box frame from the van. What is happening? I need answers.

I meet Easton’s gaze, finally snaring his attention. His mouth ticks up at one corner.

Good morning. You’re not busy, are you? he signs.

Busy? What does busy have anything to do with it?

“No.” I shake my head mechanically.

Good. I took a chance that you’d be home.

He starts heading back outside, but I snag his arm. “Wait. Easton…what… What is all of this?”

Furniture, he signs with humor in his eyes, as though I’m being obtuse.

“Yeah. I can see that, but…but why? Where did it come from? What…what are you doing bringing it here?”

The place looked a little empty.

He grabs my arm, tugging me out of the way when the two men bring the box frame through the doorway. The magnitude of the gesture I’m witnessing is beyond touching, but I also see dollar signs. Dollar signs I can’t afford, nor will I be able to anytime soon.

“Easton, thank you. This is really kind of you, but I can’t…” Shifting, I turn my back to the others even though they’ve ventured deeper into the cottage. Murmuring in my shame, I confess, “I can’t afford this. It would take me a long time to pay you back. So, please don’t take offense. I’m touched by your intention, but…I just can’t accept any of this.”

Don’t worry about it.

God, he has no clue. Loans between friends are never good—isn’t that what people say? And more than a comfortable couch to sit on, more than something other than Ramen noodles to eat, I want Easton to be my friend. I know now that it has nothing to do with me needing a distraction. He’s good,funny, and as fucking amazing as he was years ago. He’s a life force I want to be around.

“Iamworried about it. You don’t understand how…just how bad things are with my finances right now. I won’t do that to you. I can’t accept it. I know you probably went to a lot of trouble. I’ll help you take it back. That’s the least I can do.”

“Stop.” The commanding sound that comes out of his mouth hits me like a cold splash of water. It’s soft and raspy, but it’s… vocal. “Just stop,” he repeats, gripping my arms and giving me a poignant look. “Please. I don’t want anything.”

“But…”

“I don’t,” he emphasizes, giving me a squeeze. The determined look on his face softens, erasing the lines around his eyes. Shrugging, a little smile plays on his face as he adds even softer, “You helped me once.”

The words are so good to hear that tears well up in my eyes. It’s a reassurance I didn’t know how much I needed. You’re not supposed to question good things, but it feels too much like a hallucination.

“But…you hate me,” I stammer. “Kissing Wolf to get me to leave. The electrolarynx. The restaurant…you looked like you were crawling out of your skin just to get away from me.”

Releasing me, he blows out a breath and cranes his head back, rolling his eyes. Shifting in place, he rubs the back of his neck and chews his lower lip.

“I hate…the past. Not you.”

Something still doesn’t add up. If he’s doing all of this because he thinks I helped him, why did he lash out like that if he can separate me from Hampton?

“I let you down when I left, didn’t I?”

Scoffing, he shakes his head. With a wry smile, he reaches out and picks at a nail sticking out of the wall. It’s avoidance if I’ve ever seen it. It brings back a flash of his little quirks from our sessions together.

As he tugs at the nail, I recall how those artful fingers created the most breathtaking sketches on any paper he could get his hands on while he was at Hampton. He was so talented. I wanted him to go to art school so he could…

Oh, God… That school where my mother used to be a board member.

“The art institute scholarship program…I told you I’d get you in before I left, and then Jason had to report to a new facility and we took off in a hurry. I…forgot.” I wish I could make my crime stop coming out of my mouth, but it’s a penance I need to own. “Oh, God. Easton, I’m so sorry. You were so excited about it.”

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