Page 9 of Silent Is The Heart

I hate how it makes me sound like a scared child. Like less than this clearly slightly older-than-Aaron ass-grabber. This is a state-run facility. Why is he wearing fancy-ass shoes like that here for his stupid charity visit to plastic surgery us low-class citizens?

“Y-yeah.Yes. Yes, we did. Um,do. Sorry. Dr. Reider was just…just dropped by to visit me.” Aaron’s smile kills something inside of me. It’s the same as always, but also different. It’s… polite. A little too polite.

“Um…did you want to go out into the courtyard?” he asks, anxiously glancing from me to Reider. “It’s a little chillier today, but the fresh air might be nice.”

It’s a small consolation prize to see that he’s clearly ashamed of his sex office at the moment, or maybe he came to his senses and wants to get away from the ass-grabber. I never want to step foot in here again, and getting Aaron as far away from this major mistake sounds like a solid plan.

“Yeah.” I back up, swiveling around toward the doorway to encourage him to flee with me.

“I’ve got to go,” he tells Reider, voice hushed.

Reider straightens up finally, getting the fucking hint, but then his lids droop as he stares at Aaron’s mouth. His freaking mouth. Hello! I’m standing right here! His hand comes up, brushing a thumb under Aaron’s chin. I might vomit. Leaning in, he dusts a kiss on Aaron’s cheek.

“I should go look up flights,” he says. “Call me later.”

Aaron smiles and nods sheepishly. Reider pauses near me like he thinks a crippled kid should move out of the way for his Highness. I lean back about a centimeter and flash him a bright smile that says my IQ is probably what he expects it should be from someone from a trailer park. I hope he fucking trips on my crutches.

I’ve never felt so feral; keeping my eyes trained on his back to make sure he disappears down the hallway. My blood is pumping overtime. Aaron is into guys—just as I suspected. Part of me wants to celebrate that fact, but another part of me has just seen the equivalent of the evil witch making out with Prince Charming, leaving the princess crying in her tower. There is no way he could truly be into that guy.

“I’m sorry,” he says softly, running his hand through his hair. “I’ve never…done anything like that at work.”

I want to be that hand. I want to slap him for being so stupid, but I also still want to be that hand. “It’s…new,” he adds, sounding helpless and abashed. “He just…showed up.”

The awkward reminder of our roles earlier—that of patient and therapist—dies away as I take in the discomfort in his expression. He owes me no explanation, and yet, I’m receiving one. That has to count for something. His show of remorse is a feather in my cap. Somewhere in there, I matter to him. I matter to him,andhe’s into guys. It’s enough to take the edgeoff my embarrassing cloud of jealousy. I’ve never crushed on anyone before—this is freaking awful. I’m not going to blow it by letting him in on my infatuation, by acting like a bratty teenager.

Swallowing back the bitter panic as it ebbs, I shrug and flash him a smile. “We’re young. But, yeah, get laid on your own time. You owe me five,” I snark, nodding toward the clock.

Chuckling, he pats me on the shoulder. “I’ll give you ten.”

He leaves his hand resting there as I crutch through the doorway. Every inch of my skin goes taut under that touch. I can feel each of his fingers, searing my flesh through my shirt, making me wonder if we’d set the room on fire if we were skin to skin.

Can Reider do that to him?

No way.

He said he needed to go buy plane tickets, which means he’s finally leaving soon. You don’t leave someone you’re serious about. He’s just a passing fling.

I said it myself. Aaron’s young like me. Young, with an active sex drive. I can’t hold that against him.

Just as long as the fucking ass-grabber fucks back off to wherever he came from.

Then Aaron will be all mine again. Aaron, who’s into guys. Aaron, who’s going out of his way to recommend me for an art program. Aaron, who laughs at all my jokes and looks at me like I’m something. I’ve never been something to anyone other than Mom. I can’t possibly feel this stupid over a guy and not have there be some potential for reciprocation.

Glancing over, one look at the smile he gives me tells me I was wrong before, clouded by a haze of worry. That’smysmile—the one he gives just to me. It’s back. Ass-grabber didn’t kill it.

Everything will be fine.

His family lives in Hampton. He’s not going anywhere. And that art program is in town. I’ll be busted free from here soon, and then we’ll just be two guys who live in the same zip code. Two available guys who happened to meet at a rehab facility. We’ll laugh about it someday. I’m sure.

God, I have it so bad. The damnedest thing is that I don’t mind a bit.

NOW

CHAPTER 6

Aaron—eight years later

“Are you sure you don’t want any furniture? We have some stuff left over that renters leave behind.”

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