Page 56 of Silent Is The Heart

I used to make him try to speak when what I should have done was listen. I’ve never been so grateful as witnessing how silent is the heart. It’s the loudest, most beautiful sound in the world.

CHAPTER 27

Easton

Happy and terrified.

The words have been running a race in my head since last night. Staring blankly at the cash in my hand and the piles on my desk, I realize I’ve lost count again. Fuck.

Scooping up the sales from yesterday, I start over. Smiling to myself, I can’t fight the newest distraction that’s creeping in. I replay the memory of Aaron calling out to me, and then his little declaration that made my heart damn near stop beating. Helovesme…

I decide I’m mostly happy because why should Aaron loving me be terrifying? That’s what you want a crush to do, right?

My elbow knocks my coffee tumbler over, spilling a brown pool onto my desk. Shit. There goes the count again. Scrambling, I right it, set the cash to the side, and grab a roll of paper towels off the shelf behind my desk.

It reminds me of the coffee mug ring I noticed on my living room table when I came home from Aaron’s to shower and dress for the day. The quaint mess where Leonard has taken up residence on my couch is an eyesore I can’t avoid. Each morning, I come home from Aaron’s like I’m living my best life only to have it marred by the snoring lump on my couch, huddled under a blanket with the television murmuring in thebackground. He fucking better not be ordering anything on my cable account. Why couldn’t he find a job working a day shift?

The cynic in me ignored his claim of getting a job at The Siever Pallet Company, just like how I ignore him any time he tries to strike up a friendly conversation. He must have forgotten the ‘I-don’t-want-to-hear-you’ rule. The uniforms folded up on my coffee table and the beat-up pickup I’ve seen pick him up out back in the afternoons, however, make it difficult to believe my doubts. So, maybe he actually did get a job. Good for him. How fucking long is long enough for an ex-con to save up first and last month’s rent is what I want to know? It doesn’t matter that he basically only occupies a six-by-six area of my apartment, and I only have to see him if I go up there in the morning or to change before I see Aaron in the evenings. He’s like an intrusive growth.

I…wantto be happy, so badly I can taste it. I want to swallow it, drink it down whole, and let it cleanse me of every skeptical thought I’ve ever had about love. But Aaron was right—‘A level of happiness that might terrify some people.’

How can you let yourself freefall into the level of happiness he represents for me when there’s a bad omen living under my roof? Leonard’s done nothing wrong since he’s been here, short of several obnoxious attempts to offer me coffee or breakfast in the mornings that break theno-speakingrule. I can’t explain it, but I won’t stop being terrified that my life will implode until he’s gone.

Wolf’s footsteps make a stomping sound coming through the office door. Tossing a pair of nitrile gloves in the trash can by his desk, he lets out a sigh. Watching the agitated lines in his face as he skulks to the fridge to grab a soda, it’s strange to be the happy, coupled one among us for once. I know he’s soreover the Melissa ordeal, but my bet is it’s the upcoming loss of his house that’s the biggest reason behind his glum mood of late. Having that conversation would be like poking a badger, though. No thank you.

Intrusive growth upstairs—Debbie Downer downstairs. I used toenjoycoming to work.

Wolf sulks back out to the shop without so much as a glance at me. It’ll be a fun day when he moves the last box out ofChateau de Wolverton.

Channeling laser focus, I finally finish my count. Gathering up the deposit for tomorrow along with my own personal sales, I head to the file cabinet and open the fake door front, balancing the funds on my knee so I can do the combination.

Jesus, I have four days’ worth of deposits sitting in here in front of my emergency fund. I have officially been living in Boyfriend Land.

Whatever. My nest egg far exceeds four days of sales.

It’s comical that Aaron keeps insisting he could carpool me back and forth from his place since I keep refusing his offers to return my Suburban. I’ve got enough stashed in here that I could buy him his own brand-new vehicle, but even I know that would look like overkill. Yeah, it’s getting cold as shit out on my bike, but I don’t mind when the short destination means I’ll have him to keep me warm. He wants to drive around to look at Christmas lights tonight. Are grown men supposed to be so damn cute?

“Hey! Did you leave something running upstairs?” Wolf calls from behind me.

“What?”

I didn’t think he could look more pissed off than he already was. What the hell would I have left running upstairs and why is he wiping his forehead off? Is he sweating?

“There’s water dripping from the ceiling down into my station.”

Water? Why would there be water? The only thing that’s up above his stall is the spare room I use as my home gym. I may have had a moment of decency where I considered converting it to a guest room, but remembered I don’t have a decent guest. The only reason there would be water coming from up there would be if…

Oh, shit.

Itwasbuilt to be a spare room and so it has a bathroom attached to it, a bathroom that Leonard’s been using. Son of a bitch.

Tossing my bundles into the safe, I glance back to tell Wolf to cool his jets, and I’ll go take care of it. I don’t need him finding out I’ve been housing Leonard after the way he lectured me when Aaron and I first got together. No way am I telling him about my unwanted visitor now while he’s unhinged about being single and soon-to-be houseless.

“Hey,” Leonard calls, making every one of my muscles go rigid.

Leonard.Fucking Leonard.Inmy shop.

It’s like watching your most embarrassing dream play out in front of a live audience. What is he doing down here? Wolf gives him a once over, looking confused as Leonard squeezes in the doorway next to him.

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