Page 88 of The Idiot

“I’m glad you find this so amusing. Geez, I used to like you!”

“I’m not laughing at you, Jesse. Believe me. It just reminds me of how things were with me and Pete when we first got together. People don’t communicate when they’re falling foreach other. I think it’s some kind of rule, to be honest. Even when they think they’re communicating, they don’t do it right. It’s inevitable.”

“Okay, news flash. I basically just told you that. Not helpful. How do I fix it? How did you and my stick-up-his-ass brother work your stuff out?”

Chuckling again, his ears go red. Ew. If his is some sappy story about sexual activity, that’s useless to me. Murph and I have already done the sex. The sex wasn’t the issue. I want his heart too, not his big, luscious ass. Okay… fine. I still want his ass.

“Your brother made a few grand gestures, and… they won me over.” He shrugs like that was the obvious answer.

“Gestures? What kind of gestures?”

“It doesn’t matter what kind of gesture it is. It’s more about making sure it’s a situation where the other person has to listen and that you’re completely open and vulnerable about how you feel.”

Open. Vulnerable. I can do that. I will. I have to. I’ll do whatever it takes.

Getting Murph in a situation where he has to listen to me, though? That part is a little more difficult.

“Why are you in my room?” Pete grumbles from the doorway.

“It’s not your room anymore,” I counter. Why is he always so mean? And why do I suddenly not care about screwing with him? It’s always brought me so much joy. “Mom said I could turn it into a gym. I was just seeing how well the carpet soaks up sweat,” I explain.

His nostrils flare, and to my surprise… nope. I feel nothing.

Wow. I don’t even care about annoying my brother anymore. It’s literally the last thing on my priority list. I am absolutely in love with Murphy Malone.

Slapping Cam on the shoulder, I make my way to the door. “Thanks Cam. Good luck with the new house.”

“Good luck to you, too.”

I practically race to my old room. I do need luck. I need all the powers of the universe to make the man I’m calling listen to me.

Murph finally answers after three painfully agonizing rings. “Hello?”

“Hey! Can we… talk?”

There’s a pause. Why is he pausing? Not good.

“I’m going out of town for a while.”

“Seattle?” It’s mildly embarrassing how I practically shriek that word like it meansmurder. Basically, it does. It would murder my heart if he went to Seattle.

“No. I’m going to stay with my sister for the winter.”

Thewinter? As in an entire season of the year?

Ugh. Why am I not even surprised? He’s such a… such a… freakingrunner-awayer.

“Murph, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I wish you’d told me.”

“There was never a reason to. I’m sorry I… for whatever it was we did. I should have known better.”

“No! I don’t regret any of it.” He needs to know that. This isn’t going how I planned, though. I’m not getting into this over the phone with him. “Look, can we just talk…in person, before you leave?”

“Jesse,” he says, a sigh flooding over the line. “Everything’s fine. Okay? I promise. I’ll call you when I get to my sister’s.”

“No. Please, I really want to see you and explain some things to you.”

“There’s nothing to explain. Just give me some space—for real this time. Alright?” I hate how calm he sounds, as though he's already determined to forget about loving me. “I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you later.”

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