Page 62 of The Idiot

“Murph…” a voice whispers.

Something stabs the back of my thigh a few inches below my ass. Lower, I feel… feet. Other feet against my feet, rubbing anxiously.

Grunting, I blink my eyes open in the darkened room. It mustn’t be quite morning yet, but there’s a gray light casting over the wall. It’s enough for me to recognize the foreignness of my surroundings. This isn’t my room.

“Murph…” the voice whispers again. “Are you awake?”

A nose brushes against my spine, just below my shoulder blades.Jesse.

I can feel his chest pressed against my back, one of his hands tucked uncomfortably between me and his stomach. His feet shift again, and it’s now that I realize they’re sort of massaging mine.

“I am now,” I croak, every nerve ending in my body firing on alert now. He asked me a question last night. “How’s your head?”

“Fine.”

Something stabs my thigh again as he shifts. His hand slips from in between us and settles on my biceps. Fingertips drum against my skin, impatiently.

“Are you…awake, awake?” he ventures curiously.

That’s a dick stabbing my thigh. A Jesse-dick.

I should probably question his sudden interest in male-malesexcapades, but an irresponsible part of me reminds myself that we did sleep on it. Now, it’s morning. It’s morning, and Jesse’s dick-stabbing me, spooning up to me like aSnuggie. The only thing holding me back is our big, fat messed up friendship. For some reason, though, the memory of his absurd comparison between exploring and rebuilding a transmission eases my worries. I could snort at how simple it appears to him. For once, I want to embrace his confounding logic.

He’s right—we already do everything else together. And I sure as shit don’t want him ‘rebuilding transmissions’ with anyone else. Absorbing the sensation of his warmth and dick pressed against me, I feel my reserve and common sense tumble like dominoes. It has nothing to do with a rogue hope that he might fall in love with me along the way, nothing at all.

Rolling, I force his body back so I can get an arm under me, and then settle on top of him. The little gasp he lets out wafts against my lips. The hard cock pressing against my stomach is confirmation of what was prodding me. It decimates any remaining hope I had of holding back.

Am I‘awake, awake?’ What a laugh. I’ve never been more in tune with my cognizance.

“Yeah. Someone kept fucking with me,” I reply, bracketing him in between my arms. “Did you want something?”

Blushing, he pats my sides casually and glances off to the side. “No,” he says, unconvincingly. “But if you’re awake now, we can… do something.”

The inside of his foot glides up my calf and then back down. When his teeth sink into his lower lip and his eyes return to mine, I know that’s his way of asking for what I fell asleep dreaming I heard last night. Call me greedy or cautious, but I need to hear it again.

Dipping my head to the side of his face, I let my breath ghost the skin just below his ear, hardly believing that I’m really doing it, that he’s allowing it. Nudging his lobe with the tip of my nose, I whisper, “Something like what?”

His throat undulates and his fingertips grip my sides. “Exploring?”

It comes out all throaty. I’ve never heard such a beautiful pitch to a response.

Rocking my hips into his, the outlines of our cocks slide past each other. “With these?”

His chest expands on a choppy breath. “Yeah. That… that’d be cool. If…you want?”

The way his toes are curled around the back of my leg betrays his attempt at nonchalance. A firestorm erupts in my belly, swirling through my chest. Jesse—underneath me. Hard. Forme. Asking forme.

Rising on my arms, I nod like this is a business deal and not a moment I’ll remember for the rest of my life. “Alright.”

The smile that spreads across his face looks brighter than the one the day he bought Delores. I want to swim in it and let it carry me out to sea.

Unfortunately, something has to be done first. Lifting my hand, I bring it down, swatting the bandage on his forehead.

“Ouch! What the heck was that for?” he cries, rubbing the skin around it.

“That’s for going to some strangers’ room on a fucking cruise.”

“Oh, my gosh! You’re such an ass! I told you; I got out of there unscathed. I didn’t know they were looking to adopt. Okay?”

---