Page 74 of The Idiot

“What?”

“I need more.”

Snickering, he nips at my lower lip. “Of course you do. We haven’t done anything yet.”

Even in bed and naked, he can make me laugh. I want him here like this for always, and I want to remember this as the start of it. He’s my beginning and my end. He’s all I’ve ever known and ever want to. I know why I went to Seattle, why I never tried to connect with another man past one night. I was waiting for Jesse.

Grabbing his face, I give him a hard but chaste kiss, and then sit up enough that I can reach my nightstand.

“No, I mean more of you,” I tell him, setting a condom and lube on the mattress.

Turning over, I get on my hands and knees, not even embarrassed by how eager I must look. Drinking in the sight of him, running his awestruck gaze over my body, squeezing the head of his cock, I know he’ll be the last man I do this with. I can already imagine his hands on my hips, the slap of our skin, and feeling that closeness that I’ve dreamt about.

“M-more of mehow?” he asks.

“I want you inside me. I want all of you.”

CHAPTER 25

Jesse

“Y-yeah. O-okay.”

Why am I stuttering? I knew that’s what he meant.

All of me. The sensations the words brook make me shudder.

I know guyscando that to guys,dodo that to other guys, but I guess I figured that was off-limits for us. It seems like it would exceed the limits of some friend code or exploring. And, yet, here we are.

Or rather, there is Murph. On his hands and knees, ass presented for me.Me.

Never have I seen such a sight. Never has a bare body left me speechless to the point my brain has quit functioning. When did he cease looking like my buddy and instead become an awe-inspiring gift?

Now? Probably now.

“Jesse?”

“Yeah?”

I realize I’m still ogling his presentation when he doesn’t respond. He’s looking back at me intently; equal parts want and concern.

“You remember we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, right? You say the word, and we’re fine.”

“Yeah.” I nod, but I keep replaying his words in my head.

I need more.

More of you.

I want all of you.

Murphneedsme.Allof me.Me.

Not someone else. Not Philip or Rod or some stranger in Seattle.Me. Jesse Carver. Best friend.

I thought maybe I wasn’t enough. He hasn’t called or texted since we got back unless I got ahold of him first. Now, he’s bared his ass for the taking and wants my cock in it.

I don’t know if a good friend should say no or how I’m even supposed to accomplish this, but I nod. I want us to be beautiful, like his porn. I want to experience what it’s like to be beautiful with him.

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