Page 9 of A Fool's Game
She smirks over at me, tapping her shoulder against mine, causing our bodies to ping pong a bit as we walk down the lightly dusted sidewalk. “You know, pointing out when you’re right is unbecoming.”
There’s no malice in her tone, so I grin down at her. “Unbecoming is a word that doesn’t get used enough. I’m going to see if I can add it to my vocabulary.”
“Feeling sorry for left behind words, huh? I didn’t know you were such a softie.”
“You don’t know much about me at all. Which is why you should invite me in when we get to your house.”
She laughs but doesn’t touch me again. The place on my arm where hers bumped against me moments ago aches with the loss.
“Okay, okay, so you moved out to Seattle for college, you live in a house with roommates, you’re a writer, and you like tarot and magic. Anything else I should know about you?”
“That’s a lot more than you knew an hour ago.”
“An hour ago I didn’t know you existed.” I regret the words as soon as they leave my mouth. They’re true, but saying them to a girl who knew me when we were younger somehow seems insensitive. “Sorry, that’s not what I meant.”
She stops walking and turns to face me. “What did you mean?”
Damn. I’m in trouble now. Called out by a girl who I’m willing to bet is a tad bit smarter than me. I have no choice but to throw myself on the line. “I’m in a crazy period of flux. Of change. I thought I knew what I was doing, but it turns out I know nothing. Graduation is around the corner, and I’m supposed to make decisions I don’t want to make. Tonight, Iwas feeling really alone, like all of my choices in life landed me in a stupid townhouse by myself far from anyone I know, who knows me, and sometimes I like it, but other times I just feel like I’m failing at life. And then you climbed onto the stool next to me. A girl who knows me from when I was a kid. I didn’t know who you were, but I felt like I knew you. I feel it even more now. I know that sounds crazy, but it’s true. I can’t shake the feeling that everything I’ve done up to this point was leading me to right now. And I’m terrified I’m going to screw it up before I get the chance to see where it all could go.”
Gem has her arms folded across her chest against the cold. I watch her face go from amused to curious to serious as I give my completely unplanned monologue.
I’m starting to worry that she’s going to roll her eyes and tell me I’m an idiot when she cocks her head to the side and smiles. “The Fool.”
I cough out a laugh in surprise. “Yeah, I guess so.”
She must see the letdown in my face because she reaches out and grasps my shoulder in one gloved hand. “I love that you can see that you’re embarking on a new journey. Those are scary, even when we know where we want them to lead. If we don’t know, well, that can be even scarier.”
“Were you scared to start your journey?” I have no idea what I’m asking, but I’m desperate to get the focus off me, off my problems, so I won’t accidentally make myself look like more of a loser. A fool.
“Of course. I had my school paid for, but it was still a huge leap for me to move out here all alone, get my first job, buy myself a bed and a bookshelf. I didn’t have anyone to show me how to take the next steps in life, so I had to figure it out on my own.”
I try not to fixate on the mention of her bed, biting mylip and forcing my mind out of the gutter. She's opening up to me, and I want to honor that. “Do you still feel alone?”
It sounds desperate once I say it aloud, like I’m fishing for an opening in her life she’ll let me fill.
When she shakes her head, it feels like a sword through my heart.
“No. I found myself a community of souls on similar journeys who’ve become my new family.”
I just nod stupidly, feeling dismissed.
Once again, Gem reads my mind, hooking her arm through mine and starting us down the sidewalk once more. “But there’s always room for one more.”
I smile to myself in the darkness, letting her words soothe me more than they probably should. It’s a start. It’s something. It feels like an invitation to get to know her—one I’ll certainly take.
We stop in front of a large, white house, the only house on a street lined with flashy, modern condo buildings about ten blocks from the water. It’s closer to campus than my townhouse, although my place would fit in on this street far better than this squat, wide, wooden craftsman. I take in the front porch with its swing and brown, wintering plants in large ceramic pots.
“Nice place you got here.”
She glances over her shoulder at me and then back at the dark windows. “My roommates are all out at their holiday celebrations.”
My eyebrows raise as I try to determine if that was an invitation of another kind. “Do you need someone to check the closets and under the beds for intruders?”
Gem smiles and shakes her head. “The house is very well protected.”
I cock my head to the side. “By piles of salt in every corner?” It’s something I saw in a movie once.
I meant it as a joke, but Gem shrugs. “Something like that.”
