Page 108 of A Fool's Game
“Forward motion, progress, and triumph?” I ask sheepishly, already knowing Marisol is unlikely to take such a simple, positive view of this card in this placement.
“The path is the goal?” sheoffers back.
I nod, resigned. “Yeah, okay. What does it mean for me, though?”
“What do you see?”
I lean forward and take a closer look at the card in front of me. “I see a man with epic hair standing in a throne-like carriage. He’s got a wand in one hand, so there’s magic. There’s magic everywhere, actually. His robe has crescent moons for shoulders, his crown is a star, the chariot is draped in blue star fabric. He’s got the city behind him, and the sphinxes in front. They all look straight ahead, not behind. It’s interesting that they aren’t harnessed to the chariot. I’ve read in so many books that they don’t actually pull the chariot, even though they’re in a position to do just that.”
“They run in front of the chariot,” Marisol encourages.
“So what makes the chariot move forward?”
“The driver’s will?” she offers.
“Well, right now they’re not going anywhere,” I say, tossing the card back down on the table and looking up. “They’re just sitting there.”
“Is that how you feel?”
I let out a sigh. I walked right into that one. “In a lot of ways, yes. I’ve never felt so stuck. I’m getting on a plane this afternoon. I’m moving forward. I’m following my path.”
“So why does it feel like you’re standing still?”
I look back down at the guy on the card, dressed to the nines, ready for a journey it seems uncertain he’ll ever get to take. “I don’t want to go alone.”
She nods. “So you’re waiting. You’re getting on the plane, off to do the thing you think you want to do, but it’s not real because you don’t have your partners on the journey with you.”
“I’m leaving them behind.”
“So you say.”
“Next card, please.”
Marisol raises her eyebrows, and for a moment I think she’ll protest. But in the end, she looks back to the deck. “Second placement, what you need for your mindset moving forward on this path.”
She flips it without hesitation, as aware as I am that moving on in this reading is in no way letting me off the hook.
The Page of Cups.
“Well, fuck.”
Marisol laughs.
“Unconscious wishes?” I ask hopefully.
“Fearless, unconditional love?” she answers unhelpfully.
“Next card, please.”
Another soft laugh from Marisol and another card. “Third placement, what you’ll need for happiness on this path.”
Seven of Pentacles.
We both stare at the card in silence.
Finally, I can’t take it anymore. “Failure?”
I look up to find Marisol watching me curiously. It only makes me more frustrated.
