Page 103 of The Heart

I cry for a long time.

And eventually, I come to the realization that Sebastian and Luke were wrong after all.

This isn’t just a crush.

—

I crawl up onto the bed to sit next to Colton, and we eat in silence. My mind is still reeling, jumping between what I feel for him, and how all of this is my fault.

“What’s wrong?” he asks quietly.

“Wrong? Nothing’s wrong,” I evade the question.Poorly.

“Do you want to talk about what happened at the penthouse?”

“No, no. That’s not it. I mean, that wasn’t great. But it wasn’t my first firefight,” I tell him and he nods his head in understanding, he knows what I’ve been through. Not the best conversation to have over morning coffee, but it’s come up. It wasn’t his first either. Being in our line of work isn’t always fancy parties and remote surveillance.

“Then what is it?” he asks.

I take his bowl, setting it on the nightstand next to mine before finding the courage to speak.

“Every time I turn around, there’s someone after me. It’s always been like that, and I’ve always just handled it. But it’s different now,” I say.

“Because you have the guys.”

And you,I think, the sudden thought emerging so quickly it surprises me.

“Yes, the guys, the team. I just feel like I keep putting everyone I care about in danger because of who I am. And now, they’re all about to risk their lives again on this op to save my sister. The guys ran the business just fine before I was here, they had lives where they didn’t need bulletproof glass or escape plans that involved helicopters. Sometimes I wonder where I fit into all of this. I help with the paperwork, sure, but how much of an asset am I really? How am I even worth it? I just feel like I’m the liability who’s going to get someone killed.”

I’m crying again, softer now. Becausegoddammit,I just keep doing this! How could I live with myself if anyone else gets hurt because of me? The man lying on his back gripping hisbullet woundis proof enough.

“Leena,” Colton says, and I glance up, meeting his eyes. I’m not sure what I expected to find there, but confusion wasn’t it. “Maybe you’re a liability, but we all are. Seb likes to think with his fists more often than his brain, Lu lets his heart get in the way of what needs to be done and I can’t take a damn thing seriously. We all have our weaknesses that could put us in danger, even during the easiest of ops. That’s why we have each other’s backs. You don’t just do paperwork, Leena. The guys started the business, sure, but you’re the one who keeps the team together. And Sebastian and Luke were fucking miserable before they met you. You didn’t know them back then, but I did. They’re different now. They’re fuckinghappy.Do you honestly think they would’ve ever gotten together if it weren’t for you?”

He stares at me, and I look away, not sure if I can believe what he’s saying. But then his fingers brush my chin, turning it back so I’m forced to face him.

“Don’t you get it?” he whispers. “You aren’t just a part of the team, and you aren’t a separate piece of their lives. You’re the heart.”

The heart.

Am I?

I think about that for a long moment, studying his beautiful face and the honesty in his eyes. But what he’s saying is too kind, too thoughtful. Too much.

So I look away again.

“There’s something else,” he says, concerned.

“I should check your wound.” I slide off the bed and walk over to sit in the chair next to him. I reach out, but he grabs my hand, stopping it.

“You’re nervous around me. You have been all night,” he states.

I don’t say anything, I just let my hand slide from his. Because I can’t deny that.

“Fuck!” he says, running a hand over his face in exasperation before speaking again. “I’m so fucking sorry, Leena. I never should have let you see me in that show without talking to you first. We were friends and I completely fucked it up. I can give you guys your key back,” he says, and my eyes shoot up to him. He’s looking away, shaking his head. It’s as if he’s angry at himself and absolutely heartbroken all at the same time.

“What? No! That’s not it at all!” I say frantically.

“So this isn’t about the club?” he asks, turning back to me.

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