Page 40 of The Coffee Shop

“You want to join us?” Sebastian winks at me.

“No,” I say fervently, but I can’t help but smile as I take in the sight of them. They are both shirtless, which makes their offer tempting, but their basketball shorts and running shoes tell me exactly what they are up to and my body wants absolutely no part of it. I’ve managed to keep up with their workouts so far,sort of,but now every bone in my body is screaming because of it.

And theextra curricularactivities that I have been an enthusiastic participant in over the last six days probably aren’t helping the situation.

Can I die from having too much sex?I wonder, but then I stare at the shirtless men in front of me, their smooth bodies all tan and tattooed, and I think how fun it would be to yank those shorts off them and take them right here on the porch. So I guess I don’t care if it kills me. What a way to go.

Sebastian comes over and kisses me on the forehead before heading off. Then Luke comes over and, in what I can only assume is an attempt to one-up his friend, takes my mouth with his and kisses mehard,his tongue tangling with mine. Then just as quickly, he’s torn away.

“Hey! I wasn’t finished!” Luke shouts. I laugh as Sebastian yanks him away from me with a hand on the back of his neck then shoves him stumbling towards the stairs.

“Oh, you’re finished. Now get a move on, you’reburning daylight,” Sebastian barks out.

“Fine. But I know you’re only making me go first so you can stare at my ass,” Luke teases, taking off down the steps.

“Hey Lu, you know what?”

“What?”

“Fuck you, that’s what!” Sebatian runs after him, catching up quickly and shoving him to the side.

“Dick!” Luke shouts, shoving him back.

I watch the two of them until their arguing fades into the distance and I look back down at my book. I stare, but I can’t seem to read a single word.

Not one.

My head is swimming with everything that has happened over the past six days. How comfortable I’ve been here with these complete strangers. How…happy.

And it could all be over today.

Even if it’s not, then it’s only a matter of time. My father will figure out who is trying to kill me eventually and I will go back to my tiny little apartment and my pathetic little life. I will go back to being alone, just scraping to get by.

I will go on living my life without them.

Without them.I think those words over and over again in my head.

When I reach up to my face, I’m surprised to find tears there. Because as much as I have fought against it, there is absolutely no denying it any longer.

I’m in love with them.

I feel the words hit me straight in my gut. I let out a sob, then sniffle back my tears as I gaze out across the meadow towards the woods where I know they are, as if even this distance is too far for me to be away from them.

How will I feel when they are gone from my life forever?

I sob harder.

“This is fucking rediculous,” I mutter, wiping away my tears.

But I don’twanta life without them. Not after seeing what my life could be. Nothing or no one will ever compare to the way I feel when I’m with them. I’m sure of it.

So I make a decision.

I have to tell them that I’m in love with them. Withbothof them. That I want a life with all of us. I know it will be complicated, know that it’s far from normal, but I don’t care. I never wantednormalanyway and I don’t give a shit about what other people think.

And maybe they won’t want me. Just look at this situation we’re in for god’s sake, my life is complicated. And dangerous. There will always be someone trying to kill me. Maybe they don’t want that kind of burden weighing down their lives. I will never have a steady job, because I can never stay in one place for too long. I will never be rich like my father, because I refuse to be a part of the family business. And I alsorefuseto take even a single penny from him.

I’m nothing but dead weight. A liability.

---